Too Sexy Superior's Hideaway!

Share The Bar

2009-11-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

Share The Bar

Want to earn money while sitting? Or earn money while doing the dishes? Or while taking care of the kids? Click the link above to know more...

It's easy and FREE!

the xiao jih smile...

2009-07-24T09:55:00.002+08:00

it's one of those good mornings that at 4:30 AM, xiao jih wakes up and looks at me...and then gives that "good morning mama" smile... his smile, makes me weak... and strong... drinking his milk, he looks at me while i'm fixing the "bed"... and catches him smiling again... what is the matter with this boy? he seems so happy... i hope he would be like that till he grows up to know the real world... i hope he grows up knowing that he is LOVED...

later, i'll be home again.. awaiting for that precious smile of my child... and his cries... hahaha...

alone...

2009-07-22T06:54:00.003+08:00

have u ever felt sooo alone, even if you're surrounded by many... i'm feeling that now... i feel soooo cold... tired, weary and ALONE... yes with a capital... papoy is away... out of town again, and it's only me and xiao jih... yes, we live with my family... but, things have become... tiring... i've been trying my best to be patient... to just leave things the way they want it to be... because i felt i don't have the right to make things RIGHT (in my own perspective)... but isn't it unfair? i've been doing this for the past 25 years of my life... just not saying anything, although things have been better, i now speak out (a little)... and yet nothing's happening... i feel non-existent... as if what i'm saying doesn't go through their head... ugh... and i'm sooo guilty... of hurting GOD... because i know, HE doesn't want me to feel this way... i know, HE doesn't want me to BE like this...

i just want to live a HAPPY life... HAPPY meaning they are HAPPY... they are OKAY... and that they don't hurt one another... and that, they make things RIGHT...

now, i'm forced to make a decision... i have to leave (again), but this time to make my family better... my own family... i don't want xiao jih to see the things underneath this "HAPPY" family...

we are not the worst family, but then i feel like this... i just feel we're stucked to the OLD US... that's why i have to leave... i have to make things RIGHT...

and i have to do this ALONE...

(sooo much drama for yet another update after several months of MIA, bwahahaha!)

Goodbye 2008...

2008-12-31T07:16:00.003+08:00

Whew… It has been a long time. I’m sorry that I haven’t posted for a while, I mean for a long time. A lot has happened this year and it has been a memorable year.

2008 was a year of new life. Since last year, I came back to my real love, Jollibee. And ever since, I’ve been enjoying my stay in this company. It is hard work really, but then if you really love what you’re doing, you’ll never grow weary… well, hopefully. Haha! Well, enough about work. What else happened? Oooh… the big thing! I got married and I had the best thing in my life… Julio Marcus Medalla last 080808. He is everything to me, and ofcourse pangit… Hehe. I And yeah, I came back to DAVAO.

So many things happened, I actually wanna share them all. But then, I lack time. Busy, busy, busy…as a bee. Basta, I am happy…Sooooo happy indeed, with the best things in my life, with the people I love…in one of my best years! 2008 goodbye…. It has been a fruitful and wonderful year. Thank you Lord!

alang magawa...

2007-09-20T15:14:00.000+08:00

halu..halu..update ulit...pagod na ako sa kakatulog...hehehe...for the past days...tulog, kain, basa, hanap work gawa ko...hehehe...pagod na ako sa kakatulog, feel ko lalo ako tumataba...hahaha..

ayun lang muna update ko..sayang kc oras...hehehe...upload pa ako mga pics..check niyo na lang multiply and friendster kow...oki?

GOD bless....

sandara in korea...

2007-09-11T19:03:00.000+08:00

yehey sandara fanatics... new pics from sandy...pls. go to my multiply site to check it...

moving on????

2007-09-10T17:29:00.000+08:00

asus ang emote naman ng pics ko....hahaha.... kaloka...nagtitiis na lamang ako sa paint kasi wala akong photoshop!huhuhu...

moving on daw?well, yes i'm moving on...ang daming tanong ng mga peeps sa akin for the past days? why did i quit? what will happen to me? what are my plans? will i go back to davao? ehem... first, why quit? because it was not what i happened... call center was not my sanctuary, not a hideaway, not a comfort zone...and i was not happy... many asked? huh? is not being happy not a good answer? i did not want to work for someting that i did not find fulfillment or satisfaction... i don't what the company paying me just because i'm taking calls... it was not worth it... well, that was for me... nonetheless, I'M VERY PROUD of the many call center agents who have stayed and endured and loved the industry... they are like OFW's... they are new heroes... kudos to all of you... especially to my batchmates EC97A... i'll miss you guys...

next question... what will happen to me? what are my plans? will go back to durian city? no, i won't be going home yet... it really depends on what will happen next...as for now i do not know what will happen to me... it's a risk i had to take... it doesn't mean that i'm not doing anything... i am doing my very best no!hehehe... as well as enjoying the fact that for the past 6 years this is the first time that i did not have to worry about school or work... and i'm thankful, happy and i feel free...

well that's it... i'm moving on... and i'm hopeful... and i have faith that i'll find my peace and achieve my dreams....bwehehehe...

missing...

2007-08-30T17:14:00.000+08:00

its been a long while since i last posted... and how i've missed posting...i've missed sooo much in my life...huhuhu...

i just quit my job... because...because... hehehe... do i have to explain? i dont think so...hehhee..well, kudos to my batchmates and to the rest of the call center agents who are trying to deal with different kinds of people... i'm proud of u guys, i salute you for being so persevering and hardworking... how i wish i could last... but maybe this is not my world anymore... i must move on...

well, anyways...i'm now back to zero... and im trying my luck (if there such a thing is) in different jobs... but then how i wish i'll get that dream career of mine...let's cross our fingers for that...hohoho!!!

i wanna do so many things, but i dont know where to begin and how to begin... i missed so many things, but i dont know if i can still do the same things or experience the same things...

just one month ago, my bf told me that he missed my "SMILE"...and i asked, why? am i not smiling the same way i did back then? and he said yes... am i not? well, it shows... you can hide the tears but you can never hide the pain and loneliness... (churva)...

what am i missing LORD? obviously, i miss home... i miss ma, pa, chin,chelly and daryll... i miss my friends... i miss college... i miss making videos... i miss taking pics... i miss photoshop... i miss blogging... i miss pexing... i miss youtube...movies, TV, mama's cooking, davao, sandara, rain, mike he, and even my pangit who's now here with me....and i do think i miss the old me... the old happy me... the old fighter and risk taker...

well, this is the real world... i mean the REAL WORLDLY WORLD... hehehe...and im in cebu...and there are a lot of things i cannot do because...well just because....

i'm not okay,right? are you feling my insanity??? hehehe...

that's it for now... i hope i can blog more....i want to blog more!!!!

miss you guys!!!(i think i'll have to close the multiply site...i've got to think about it)....

CIAO!

My New Hideaway!

2007-07-27T21:00:00.000+08:00

hi guys...long time no post...busy busyhan daw beauty ko...hahaha...well, anyways i won't be story telling now, i just want you to know that i do have a new hideaway... hehehe... in multiply... it's in http://toosexysuperior.multiply.com....

well this is still my home... pero i'll have to post the pics there, because it's much easier...davah?hehehe...

so that's it, i hope you visit the other site... have a great weekend fellows!!! God bless...

news????

2007-05-20T14:00:00.000+08:00

hmmm...let me see...one month na ako dito sa cebu..and i'm now going to our 4th week of training..hay salamat nakasurvive din sa ilang weeks...got high marks...and hopefully sa application makapasa...wish niyo po me luck...hohoho...

what's in cebu?honestly speaking i'm getting used to the lifestyle here...pero there's simply no place like home... kung saan may masarap na food luto ni mama o ng pangit ko...hohoho..kung saan may unlimited freash water EVERYWHERE... dito it costs us 40 pesos para sa limang galon ng mineral water...huhuhu... kung saan one ride lang ang mga trees and parks..dito lahat yata downtown area...hehehe... but i'm getting used to it all.. sana makayanan ko..namin...sana maging masaya ang stay ko dito...di lang sa work..but another page in my life book that is worth talking about...davah?????

wish ko nandito kau lahat...but then i know kailangan ng sacrifices...kaya AJA AJA FIGHTING pa rin...hehehe...GOD bless ya guys!!!!

pasabta ko....bwehehe...

2007-04-28T15:13:00.000+08:00

halu everyone..long time no blogging..well, long time of not being online...news???nakagraduate na jud ko!!!yep...finally i graduated last april 18...and it was....hehhee...i really don't know the feeling because...i had other matters in mind that time...what other matters???well, worries...secret worries...hehehe...well, nonetheless i feel that i'm really blessed to graduate after all those hard work...working and studying at the same time is really challenging..but it's all worth it..especially now that i'm facing the REAL WORLD...yep, and my real world is now in CEBU...hoho..yep guys..i'm now in cebu...left my pangit..left my family...left everyone in davao..that simply means..i'm all ALONE...huhuhu..yep, sad right???but it's a challenge i have and want to take...for everyone..for the future and for these guys below...i miz them but i love them more..so no worries guys...i'll be fine...

kiss me sandy....

2007-02-15T06:06:00.000+08:00

hehehe..this is for all the guys na nagpapantasyang halikan ni sandara...hmm, meron ba???hehehe..

movie mania...

2007-02-15T03:03:00.000+08:00

ayan n nman po ao..sabi ko sinyo babalik me eh...hehehe...kanina..uhm..kagabi..kasi 3:05 AM na eh... as a valentine treat, nanood kami ni pangit ng ghost rider... hay is sa awaited movies namin this year... unfortunately i was disappointed... the content and the FX were not that good.. hahay...mabuti nalang at c Nicholas Cage ang bida...well, anyways, sana ang mga susunod pang movies these year would be better... sayang kaya ang money ko... pero yung Night at the Museum was really entertaining, love it!

at dahil s gumala ako sa WWW... hehehe ... napunta na naman ako sa box office chuva... at eto ang top 30 box office for all time worldwide... ang mga nakaBOLD po ay mga napanood ko na...

1 Titanic
2 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
3 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
4 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
5 The Lord ofthe Rings: The Two Towers
6 Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
7 Shrek
8 Jurassic Park
9 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
10 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
11 The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
12 Finding Nemo
13 Star Wars:Episode III - Revenge of the Sit
14 Spider-Man
15 Independence Day
16 E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
17 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
18 The Lion King
19 Spider-Man 2
20 Star Wars
21 The Da Vinci Code
22 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
23 The Matrix Reloaded
24 Forrest Gump
25 The Sixth Sense
26 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
27 Ice Age: The Meltdown
28 Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clone
29 The Incredibles
30 The Lost World: Jurassic Park

hahaha... nakakatawa out of 30, 3 lang di ko napanood... teka..check ko ang top 100 ha? I got 79/100..hmm, pasado pa rin...hehehe..parang grade... that just means na madami ako pera pangnood ng movie...hehehe...joke! love ko lang talaga movies... nakaabot na kaya ng 500 ang napanood kong movies...hmmm...mabilang ko nga...haha...

missing photoshop...

2007-02-15T00:36:00.000+08:00

hehehe..akala niyo kung ano ah...hehehe..for the past weeks...i have not done anything productive except for my dp's (director's plan) and other school work... that's because i didn't have any choice but do it... but aside from those things, i really haven't made anything good at all... and i have a lot of unfinished business... hay kakapoy noh? i've been wanting to edit a certain video but my fave video editor is not available... i've been wanting to finish my thesis, but my mind says i'm too tired to do it... i've been wanting to edit several pics, but then i'm not that in the mood... hay...ano na kaya nangyayari sa akin? pre graduation syndrome ba itech? hehehe... and so, kahapon i realized how much i missed photoshop... and eksakto namang Vday... so eto ang ginawa ko... what ya think? wala pa rin talaga ako sa kondisyon ano?

hay and so today, kasi last duty ko now here sa MO... i made my last wallpaper with mike he in it... a wallpaper na walang ka artistic chuva...hehehe.. basta mailagay ko lang c mike... hahaha...

at dahil naglilipat ako ng files ko..sana lang effective ang mediamax... ay nakita ko ang mga pics namin nina chelly at daryll...bwahaha...so ayun gumawa din ako ng kachuvahan...

d ko alam kung maya-maya may magawa n nman ako... gusto ko lang tlga ma free sa stress... sana naman tomorrow will be a bright day to start anew... i'm so happy that i won't be doing "this" anymore... still i'm thankful for all the memories here...

after 500 years...^__^

2007-02-12T20:32:00.000+08:00

bwehehehe...halu again blogworld!after 500 years ay lumabas na rin me sa lungga ko...paxenxa na po tlga kau kasi po sobrang busy ng lola niyo. for the past two months i've been busy with school, work and iba pang kachuvahan...ano pa ba iaupdate ko sa inyo? di ko na cguro kwento ang mga kachuvahan sa skul except sa busy kami sa shooting ng"SAAG", para po sa first ever MEdIA Film Festival namin...ako po director..hehehe...pagod pa nga me galing shooting for 2 days.. d pa tpos...hehhee... sa work nman, last ko na d2 sa current work ko sa 15...balik fudchain n nman me...sa tootking...hehehe...

ano p ba?ahhh.. ang pinakalatest ang pinakamasayang experience ko these past months..ay ang pagdiscover ko sa isang napakagwapong nilalang...c MIKE HE JUN XIANG...

o dba nag dwapo at sexy niya... nakakaloka...hahhaa...i've watched love contract and devil beside you...hay he was different in both series.. and he looked good in both actresses (ariel lin in LC and rainie yang in DBY)... grabeh kaloka talaga... and magaling din xa umarte...hay ewan inlove na yata ako...hahaha..joke!!...pero naku kung may chance lang ako magkasyota ng ganito kagwapo.. xa ang gagawin ko bf...hahaha...ipinagpalit ko na nga ba c rain???hehehe...here is his latest series "marry me" trailer...bawal maglaway grils..akin lang xa... hanap pa pla ako ng "express boy" nya na series na merong sub..uy help me naman o...

for the past weeks, i've finished watching korean and taiwanese series namly, GOONG (Princess Hours), FULL HOUSE, IT STARTED WITH A KISS, LOVE CONTRACT and DEVIL BESIDE YOU...ano pa ba maganda panoorin guys? hay di ako matapos-tapos sa thesis ko ng dahil sa mga series na'to...pero ano ba magagawa ko? ito lang nakakaalis ng stress ko...hahay...

guys, thanx sa pagbisita niyo here ha? salamat sa mga help..i'm really sad and tired na... siguro pagsubok lang ang mga ito dahil graduating na ako... kaya naman please help me pray na makakayanan ko to lahat..diba??? aza aza fighting!!! jiayou!

meri krismas n a hapi new year!!

2006-12-26T16:31:00.000+08:00

waaaaaaah....sinisipon ako..napakasaya!one week na ito, parang matatanggal na ang ilong ko sa kakasinga (paxenxa na po sa mga kumakain at madaling mandiri)...well, anyways kahit na ba, sipon to the max ang drama ko, ok naman po ang krismas ko...hmmm, ok ba?

ok kaya..hehehe...i spent my xmas eve with my family..ganun din c pangit...although may coldness sa part ni amahan...ok lang..masaya pa rin ako...pero mas masaya cguro kung ksama ko c pangit...kinabukasan i went kina pangit...aun, bored ever ang bruha...hahaha..salamat na lamang kay garfield (part 2)...at di ko maxado nafeel na out of place ako..hehehe...

tapos...after sa kanila, na super layo, plano sana namin pumunta sa lola ko..nakow nasira ang plan, kc di open ung pagbibilhan sana namin ng ice cream n milk para sa lola ko...kaya aun..sa new year na lang...

uwi muna kami sa aming home sweet home...an konting rest..naabutan namin c iyanel n jelai...pero di na rin kami nagtagal, kasi super duper init dun..sira n kc electricfan namin, kaya sa mga gusto magdonate, salamt po..hehe..

so after sa bahay...punta kami sa SM...ayun nanood kami ng SUPERNOYPI..hmpf..medyo nadismaya ako...di ko na sinabi sa thread namin..kasi marami pa di nakakapanood...atsaka ayaw ko may masaktan...nakow, ang taas kasi ng expectation ko...

kasi nman ang pngit ng fx and editing...sayang tlga...atsaka, ang lamya ng story...ginwa pang papa ni mark herras c jao mapa...buti n lng may twist...hay nku...konti lng din ang lines ni sandy...pero infairness, kapag humirit xa, ibang klase...i just love her..sana may love chuva sa knila ni polo sa sequel..o kaya cla ni john...hahhaa..ang galing ni john...sandy n john really stood up...sana naman makita un ng ABS management...kainis tlga cla!!!

hahhaa..ayun lang..ayaw ko na magcomment ng sobra..baka masira ko ang pasko niyo..hehehe...

meri krismas again n hapi new year!!!

herosan at joeymae

2006-12-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

hahaha...kaloka...bakit herosan?kasi extra lang naman cla sa ginawa kong wallie...hahaha...na xang background ko ngyon sa friendster...hahaha..look niyo...o dba?bongga...hahaha..

tuloy pa rin...

2006-11-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

wala me maipost...hmmm..meron actually pero pagod ako...as in..super..haha...kaya eto na muna post ko...thanx to my "pamangkin" elaineski for making this banner pra sa amin ng pangit ko...para sa limang taon...one month to go na lang...weeeeeeeee....tuloy pa rin...

sephsan

2006-11-16T06:07:00.000+08:00

yipppeee may bago na naman sm catalogue...and this year ito ang pic ng sephsan...hmmm..meron kaya silang solo?sana meron...well, ginawa ko ng fanart agad ang pic...hahaha...

pero..alam niyo...support naman ako sa relasyon ng sephsan..wag lang tlga onscreen, kc wla tlga effect...and i think nakikita naman un ng big bosses kya nga parang last project an nila togetehr ang c4u...hopefully mas mabgyan pa ng mas magandang break c sandy and seph na rin, kc magaling naman xa umarte...dba?

gutom!!!

2006-11-15T21:27:00.000+08:00

hehehe...7:37pm na...gutom na xado...d2 na ako sa ofis, bili pa cla pangit ng leeg ng chicken na BBQ...hmmm..talap...tgal nila kainis...ang mga alaga ko nagrereklamo na...hahaha...ngayon ko lang narealize na di nga pla ako kumain ng lunch..and actually once a day na lang heavy meal ko every dinner...weks...ang hirap tlga ng nasa graveyard..huhuhu...

kagabi pla while working...i made wallies...first itong kay mahtet...

tapos sa akin naman....hehehe... pangit yung buong pic na nakaglasses ako kaya hinati ko..and tsadang...para ng TRUE...hehehe... ganda naman ng color dba?masarap sa mata...

pero now ito ang desktop ko...may sandara fever pa ako...kaya pink na pink na naman ang aking monitor...

ooops... 9:24 pm na pla...now ko lang nacontinue ang aking post... nakakain na ako...at ngayon naman gutom na naman ako...hahay...eto tlgang tummy ko..ewan ko ba...cge...idlip muna ako...hahaha..

hapi bday sandeh!!!

2006-11-12T00:17:00.000+08:00

bday na naman ni krung..tanda na xa...22 na..pero di halata na kasing age lang kami... mas mukha xa matanda sa akin eh...bwehehehe....sana ngayon na isang taon naman ang lumipas...sana ay natupad ang wishes niya sa nagdaang taon...at sana matupad rina ng wishes niya for this year...sandeh, isipin mo lang lagi na nandito kami na mga taong nagmamahal sau...okies?kahit ano pa sabihin ng iba...kahit mawala pa lahat..basta ako...kaming mga parkers...nandito lang...lab na lab ka namin... ito gawa ko for u...sana like mo...hehehe...wla ako gift now..kasi wla budget...lam mo naman artista na rin ako...hahaha..kaloka...

ito pla pic nya sa super noypi..o dba astig na ganda pa..waaaaaaaah..nakakabaliw...:P

kapuy nahhh!

2006-11-09T00:03:00.000+08:00

grrr...well eto na naman ako sa kadramahan ko...mga sentiments na di naman pinapansin... kakainis noh? ewan ko bah... grabeh na talaga...for the past months bakit laging ganun?bakit kailangan kong umiyak na lang lagi? cry for nothing ba ang drama ko? kainis naman kasi... di na nga sweet... manhid pa... di pa maappreciate ang mga ginagawa mo... tapos ginagawa pa ang mga bagay na alam niyang makakasakit sau..yeah, i know sobrang little things lamang ang pinagmumulan ng anger ko...pero little things turn into big things... and these little things are the only things that make me smile... make me happy...

grabeh na talaga ang pag hold-on ko... sometimes i really wanna give up... if he was so manhid noon..e how about ngayon? he has changed... not for the better but for the worse... o palag? ngit, alam mo..sobra na kasi eh...masakit naman ginagawa mo sa akin... sobrang taken for granted na ako... i really appreciate everything you've done for me...your sacrifices, your love...lahat yan..kaya nga ginagawa ko lahat for you... pero ako ba naappreciate mo ba ang mga ginagawa ko? reklamo lagi natatanggap... o kaya laging pasigaw kung magsalita... o kaya wala lang... parang di importante mga ginagawa ko...

am i holding on to nothing and for nothing? hahay... is this the way u want it to be? ayaw ko na talaga!!!!!!!!pagod na ako maxado sa kakaintindi..sa kakahintay na darating ang panahon na u would change for the better... that you would learn to love me the way loving should be... that you would learn to appreciate the simple things in life...and not wait for tomorrow to come..but make the best of what you can do today...

ay.. so much to say... but nothing changes... kakapagod ano? kainis... ganito ba talaga ang pag-ibig? hahay...

scrabble at QL

2006-11-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

nahihilig kami ngayon sa paglalaro ng tong-its at scrabble kapag nagpapalipas ng oras sa aming munting house...kung alam lang ninyo kung ilang beses sumakit ang tiyan ko dahil sa mga hirit ni pangit na mga words na di mo alam kung joke lang niya o sadyang ganun ang pagkakaalam niya...

kung mapapansin niyo sa baba, may 2 tiles na naiba...ang Q at L...yan na lamang kc ang natira sa aming laron... at tumama pa na QL, na abbreviation ng isa sa mga pinakamatunog na lodging inn dito sa davao..ang QUEENSLAND...

noong bata pa ako..o cge na nga high school... laging idinidikita ang LQ sa QL..sabi nila pagkatapos ng LQ, QL naman... aba malay ko ba naman kung ano yun..tawa lang rin ako...ngayon ko lang nalaman na ganun pala...hehehe... ang Pinoy nga naman, magaling sa pag-uugnay ng mga bagay-bagay...

well, wla na nmang sense ang post ko...ayun wala lang, gusto ko lang talaga ipost ang pic na yan...kasi baka mabaon pa sa baul ko...o, patuloy muna ako sa gawain ko..c ya later..

walang tulugan

2006-11-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

it's my first day sa graveyard shift today..first day for the next 4 months...mabuti na lang at next week pa ang claz... pero kahit wla pa claz ganun pa rin...wlang tulugan... ikaw ba naman magtrabaho sa graveyard tapos kinabukasan internship mo..tapos may claz pa...o asan ka pa?hahay..sana po ay maabutan niyo pa akong buhay...hehehe...well, anyways nagblog hop na nman ako at mraming natuklasan... at ng pinaka the best na nabisita ko today ay ang blog ni adrian na may comic strip... entitled kisses...

o dba ang galing???? super duper tlga, kc biruin mo, draw xa mula sa pc tapos, gawa pa xa ng storyline... very talented indeed..sana po ay ipublish niyo to... tapos...lalagay ko na pla ang mga links ng mga new found blog friends kow...nandun po sa left side...kaya visit din po ninyo cla... tulad na lamang ng blog ni heneroso na sobrang kakaaliw rin..nakakawala ng stress ikanga.. salamat din sa pagdaan nina geliq, earl and hasson... naeenjoy ko tuloy ang magblog hopping...

o cia...try ko later post ulit..edit pa ako ng vids eh...muaaaaahhhh...

pasaway...bwahaha!

2006-11-04T13:14:00.000+08:00

http://www.myheritage.com

kaloka...naging kamukha ko pa ang ever fave ko na c natalie ah...kakaloka talaga!!!

eden nature park

2006-11-04T10:42:00.000+08:00

nakapunta na ba kau dun? sa eden nature park? hmmm...may mga ipinost ako na mga pics mula sa outing namin nung oct.31... sayang konti lang ung nakuha naming pics...hmm..well, kung di pa kau nakapunta sa eden..try niyo..super duper malamig dun..as in..kaso lang malamok..hahaha...atsaka, kulang ng maintenance..kainis..wla pang big map...ayun tuloy nakaabot kami sa private property...hahaha... tapos...sana yung mga parks, pool, at mga kachuvahan pa eh sa gitna ilagay, sa palibot naman ang cottages and huts...para naman hndi up and down ang mangyari...paano kc yung pool nasa tuktok na... sobrang layo ng lalakarin... tapos ung nature park nasa baba... tapos ung fishing vill. malapit na sa exit...weks...ayan tuloy "nakaginansya mi ug barikus"... oo na..cguro nga..wla na kmi exercise..pero ang point..mas mganda ung ganun..kc mas maeenjoy..pero ganun n un eh..may magagawa pa ba tau..alangan namang ipaulit natin lahat...hahaha...

pero sa kabuuan..maganda naman ang eden..sana lang may maintenance...may nagwawalis ng mga tuyong dahon... ung mga bulaklak ay namumulaklak pa rin... ung huts, hindi pinupugaran ng mga "snakelet"... at di sana ganoon ka putik...:P

di naman ako maarte...pagod lang tlga..mantakin mong libutin namin ang eden sa ilang oras lang..davah girls?hahay...kasalanan bang magstrolling?...hahaa...o cge ayun na...kau? saan maganda pumunta?lalo na ngayong xmas...hmmm...wat ya think?

saya!

2006-11-04T07:14:00.000+08:00

hahaha...hmmm...mukhang natutuwa ako sa pananagalog ko..nahawa yata ako sa ibang pinoy bloggers...paano ba naman nakakatuwa naman talagang basahin ang mga blogs nila...katulad na lamang ni mr. gary tarugo... sobrang kaaliw talaga ng blog niya... minsan naiisip ko tuloy, lalaki ba ito?hahaha..kasi minsan may nakilala din ako sa grabeh.com, nagsearch kasi ako sa google ng "walang magawa"...kasi obviously wala akong magawa...at ayun na nga...napunta ako sa isang blog sa grabeh... ang blog ng kaibigan kong c kabute pero kakalungkot, kc di na nagpopost c mr. kabute...ano na kaya nangyari sa kanya...noong first akong mapunta sa blog na iyon..una ko ring naitanong.. lalaki ba itech? kasi sobrang galing talaga magsulat...hay nakow...kung available lang nga ako... hahaha... joke! pero diba? di kasi marami ang mga lalaking nagsusulat, lalo na kaya ang magblog... pero ngayon sa aking pamamasyal...ay napansin ko na sobrang dami na pala ang mga lalaking nagpapamalas ng kanilang talento sa pagsusulat... pero aba! xempre di lang naman po lalaki ang magagaling.... hahaha... at ang maaaring makapagpasaya sa atin... di naman puro kadramahan na lamang ang ginagawa ng mga chicks... katulad ko... hahaha... kasi nakita ko rin sa blog ni mr. gary tarugo c happy slip wow...sobrang kwela na chick... taga TATE po daw sabi ni gary... galing talaga... di korny... tama ka gary, para xang babaeng rex navarete... naalala ko tuloy c maritess at ang superfriends hay..sobrang kaaliw talaga nun... hay sana ganito palagi ano? masaya... cge pasyal muna ako friends... click niyo yung mga nilink ko.. para sumaya din kau..:D

wala lang...

2006-11-02T10:32:00.000+08:00

bwahahaha...wla lang magawa...tagalog daw me now...wla ako sa mood..sakit ulo kow...hilo ako...hahay...uy alam niyo kainis maxado nung isang araw...kc ung gf ng ksamahan ko..biruin niyo, tinalakan xa sa harapan namin just because sumuka xa after ilang shots ng emperador..as in! he is so wawa...and sobrang kainis tlga nung girl...

bakit kaya may mga ganun na tao?...self lang nila iniisip nila...hahay...kagabi nag-usap rin kami ni mahtet about showbiz and all...hay madumi tlga mundo ng showbiz...and unfair talaga ang marami...kawawa naman ung iba...

why can't the world be a perfect place to live in?hahaha...yeah i know, why it can't be...secret ang answer..haha..pero diba?ay bahala na si Lord sa kanila...pray na lang natin ang mga people...kahit na ung bad gf na un..hmpf..sana hiwalayan xa ng friend namin and wla na pumatol sa kanya so she can learn her lesson...selfish toot...:P

movie mania

2006-11-02T09:21:00.000+08:00

i can't get enough of step up, so i decided to make a wallie...hehehe..and here goes my new desktop...

hehe...now i've been looking for centerstage...i can't find it in youtube..well, u can find it but only chosen scenes, not the entire movie...oh well...last month (not sure). we watched butterfly effect 2, the devil wears prada, little man, hmmm...what else?last week, i get to see on vcd (i watched movies at bookworm..:P) memoirs of geisha, i didn't get to finish it because the cd is messed up...i also watched feel good movies like in her shoes, when in rome, down to you and even filipino movie close to you...:D..i really love to watch movies...movies that make me cry, laugh and learn..i don't think i can ever watch a horror movie again...not on the big screen, i'll just waste my 65 pesos for nothing...hahaha...

well...why am i all of a sudden talking about movies? because yesterday i watched one of the "feel bad" movies of the year...and to think the lead was one of my favorites...rachael leigh cook...yep guys i watched "my first wedding"...the movie hasn't even reached its 30 minute when i realized that i should have watched the guardian instead or maybe open season...its really a shame that one can make a movie as lousy as that...hahay...i thouught only filipinos make nonsense films..but then i realized i'd rather watch the corniest film here in the philippines, than watch that flick again...hahaha..u might wonder why i hated that film...maybe u would want to catch that on screen...hahaha...but still the worst movie i've seen was punch drunk love...a movie that i don't even remember the plot...:D..

well enough about "feel bad movies"...i'm looking forward to more movies the next months and oooh...next year..there's happy feet, world trade center with my ever fave nicolas cage, and another one from him is ghost rider..then there's harry potter, spiderman, the covenant...hmmm..what else...?hahaha..i've got to make some research on more upcoming movies...

so that's it for movies now..i'll try to post again later...ciao!

blog hopping away!

2006-10-31T09:10:00.000+08:00

i did some blog hopping today by accident...i stumbled on some very interesting blogs...and one "i'm soo beautiful and rich" blog...hahaha...

it was a nice experience having to read other pinoy blogs in "filipino", it's entertaining and educational in a way...hahaha...i'm supposed to follow their way of posting...in tagalog..yesh...but i still have to practice my english...hahaha...atleast i'm honest enough to say that i'm not that good in english...and atleast my posts are not all F's...unlike others..hehehe...

well, anyways, i think blogging has played an important role to almost everyone in cyberspace. it has enabled us to laugh, learn, teach, cry and get mad...hahaha...

ooops, btw i'm really sorry for not updating, i have lots to say, but i'm quite not in the mood, i'll leave you with this pic of channing tatum (with nora...i dunno the real name of the actress..:P) of STEP UP and SHE'S THE MAN...he is sooooooooooooooooooooo hot.....hehehe....and STEP UP is really way to go!

a post from a friend

2006-09-26T08:59:00.000+08:00

my friend posted this in pex...and i loved it...so read and learn guys...

Looking back at my past…I remember each and every moment. Each moment fills a space and each moment is a picture. A picture to a very intricate, vast, and complicated world. A universe waiting to be discovered.

Reliving and savoring each moment once more, brings about the old times. It brings back the memories, the feelings, the thoughts, the desires…everything seems to have awakened from a long deep slumber. As if a vivid dream forever remembered and never forgotten.

They say a person must be contented…how ridiculous!!! If everyone will be content …that would make a perfect world. We all are fools…never perfect and never will be…believing we are indeed perfect…yet we have flaws. People are never content…we all are and we always will be. Everyone dreams to possess more of what they have and don’t have. A pointless world evaded by reality…as if a ship fighting a disturbed sea…not of water but of the line between the truth and the lies forever kept in the deep blue sea of misery and joy.

Every now and then, a certain someone wishes to turn back the hands of time and recreate their past…to alter it, to make it better, to enjoy it, and to change the present and their awaiting future. I’d be a liar if I’d state that I never regretted anything in my entire life. That would make my life a huge lie. I mean, no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to turn back time. I cannot forevermore dwell in my past, the only thing I can do is to make the best out of my present and pave my nearing future.

No one is perfect…true, I suppose…however, some people tend to be smart idiots…believing that man is never created to fail, but always to succeed. Mistakes aren’t such of a bad thing; you make some and eventually learn from them. Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You don’t have plenty of time to make them all yourself. Once we all realize that imperfect understanding is the human condition, there is no shame in being wrong, only in failing to correct our silly mistakes. As we all continue our journey through life, we all learn that experience is a hard teacher because she gives us the test first, the lesson afterwards. Life is too short to be wasted…Live and Learn…I can sum up life in three simple words…it goes on…

halu....halu..

2006-09-20T08:11:00.000+08:00

we just moved in to our new house last sunday...i'll post pics or a vid of it soon..hehehe...btw, i posted a new vid at the video section..so check it out..it's a visayan hit from the ambassadors...my bf loves it sooooo much...hehehe...and the video is nicely done...hehee....

i checked out my favorite duo's site..the back dormitory boys...they have uploaded new vids so check them out...still, they are the original and the best!

what else?oooh..i just finished editing our first children's program for this sem..i'll upload it later...it's not that good...but it's hard work...this saturday, we'll be shooting our next children's program and i'll be the director...yahoo!wish me luck!

not in the mood

2006-09-14T15:13:00.000+08:00

now and then...

2006-09-14T06:41:00.000+08:00

yesterday night, we were talking about movies (mahtet, pangit and i)..then our topic shifted to the difference of people way back then as to now... in the old testament, people fear GOD...but love wasn't there, He was feared because He can do ALL THINGS... and they were afraid to fail Him...nowadays, people say they LOVE God...but they do not fear Him...hmmm...that sounds ironic right?...in the old testament, an eye is equal to an eye...now life is equal to imprisonment...in the old testament, thunder means the voice of the Lord...and the rain means His anger or sorrow..nowadays, thunder is just a prelude to a heavy rainfall, and rain means flood, flood means poor drainage...hehehe... one funny thing, back in those days where people feared God, they used swords, knives and etc. for battles...showing courage and no fear of death and pain...nowadays, people use guns, nukes, etc...and hide behind the walls for cover...but do not fear GOD at all....*raises eyebrow*..

yep, people have become different these times...they have different perspectives of what things mean... and what God is...it's funny though, that however religious people are now, they still don't know who and what God is..right?afterall the years that God has shown His power and His love through Christ... people still commit sin...murderers still kill, rich people abuse, husbands still cheat... and people just don't care at all...

i do believe that the world is a very wonderful place to live... and i do believe that the secret to ultimate peace is loving our neighbors... when there is love, there is always trust, respect, care, peace, happiness... sometimes, i wonder and ask God..why is it that the world is such a complicated place to live in? Hehe. And God replied... if it wasn't...would you still know me?

Indeed, life is perfect the way it is...we live, we learn and we multiply...:D..God bless everyone...

This is My Passion

2006-09-01T10:39:00.000+08:00

hehehe...the title of this entry is the same title of the essay that i will be posting below...this essay was my entry, i mean the essay i wrote for my first writing job...hehehe...it was in zipsite almost 2 years ago...the essay was published last october 22, 2004...and yet the essay still sounded me...hehehe...nothing changed as far as i'm concerned...just a few words that i now added to my vocabulary but won't be using still just for the sake of writing complexity...

yup...i love writing..and i missed it..i missed writing for no reason at all..just pouring it all out...bearing my heart to the world..i never imagined that i'll leave writing...it just happened...

for the past months...i've been worn out, stressed and tired...i didn't mean to stop expressing my thoughts...i just ceased for a while, not expecting that it would take me months to write again...and maybe because...i feel that no one cares...

well...now i wanna go back...to the days..that i have to strike the ballpoint on a sheet of paper...i wish i could bring back that feeling of accomplishment for every word i write...

i've realized that writing is my life..and now GOD has again open His windows for me to share this talent to many...hehehe...(taas ng intro noh?)...for the next couple of months...i'll be working..well i volunteered..actually...we were chosen to volunteer (?) to be part of the national youth day on nov.8-12...just the thought of being actually on a national event is tremendously exciting for me...much more to be with new people..and to write till i ran out of words to say...

i do hope...that this feeling of eagerness will stay until that very last day of the event..and even till the rest of my days here on earth..(asus!)

oh..well.i've you're probably wondering why i am now updating this blog after again a month without having to visit it...i've been really busy...(yeah right!)and life is always the same...hahaha..no more surprises..tears here and there..laughter everywhere..and stress in the atmosphere almost every second..hehe...and yeah you are right..i'm still alive..

i've been busy with school..and work..and finding another job (but now..i'll settle for this muna)...and finding another house...in the heart of the city..but luck hasn't found me...nether have i found luck...

i've been on leave for the past 4 days...and it's sad to say..i'm still not feeling any better...huh?..yup...i just wish i'll have LIFE...like rosy cheeks...lively eyes...killer smile...hahaha...oh.well this is life...

uhm...i guess this is long enough for another month..hehehe..just joking...i'll be posting pictures in a while (if i won't be forgetting it)...and i'll really try to update the site everyday...oh btw, i've watched 2 movies this month...on the same day..hehe..click and love wrecked...click is better, i love adam sandler and i also love amanda bynes...hahaha...i wanna make a review..but i guess i'll give the floor to the critics...

have fun guys..and thnx to emery for her Lala Article which you can find at her friendster blog...hahaha...and enjoy this essay...i hope u guys will find your own passion too...like finding your personal legend (learnt that from "the Alchemist", finished 3 books this month too...that one and "Are you Afraid of the Dark" by Pareng Sidney Sheldon and "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants"..i love the latter better...)

bye for now..this taking way too long!!!!mwah..ciao!!!

I am not Shakespeare nor am I Rizal, I am just a writer who writes just for passion and the love for it. I am not a novelist nor am I a poet, but I could be one, if I would be given that mere chance of being there. I may not be any other genius in the world, nor do I belong to any legendary clan or heritage, but I know I belong here. Yes, I am not great, but I can be better, I am not perfect but I could do better. I am what my heart says, and this is my passion.
I long to write for the rest of my days. I long to dig deeper in my soul as long as it has something to share and reveal. I’ll write about anyone or anything under the sun, moon and stars. I’ll write it because I love it, I’ll make it because I want it. This is my heaven, my paradise, my refuge… this is a part of my life, until all else fades away.

Nothing is more comforting than pouring your heart out through the ink of your pen, striking through the edges of the linen paper. And nothing is much soothing than the voice of your soul written, waiting to be heard. Nothing is more like writing your story, your life… nothing is anything like writing.

Many may judge me as a bore, or a nerd for that instance, but I don’t care for anything that they may say, because this is ME. Who cares about anything? We all have our own cares in this world and this is mine, my passion to live and to live and to be understood through – WRITING.

miz me?

2006-07-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

hehehe..i know u don't...it has been over a month since i last posted here...why so?i was quite busy...busy?hehehe..yep, with work n skul n with our new business, our very own seventh heaven...hehe...the bookworm...we opened last july 8...i'll be posting some pics of the opening probably next week...

and what else?i have been busy watching meteor garden and a love to kill...thank GOD i finished ALTK on time...or i will be one of those disappointed youtube pirates...haha...and now i'm a certified RAIN addict...waaaaaaaah!i love him and i can't get enough of him!!!here is one of the fave pics i have of him....just look girls..ok?coz i'm decided that he is mine...hahaha...

hmmm...also last thursday..UNO mag has released it's July-AUgust issue..and guess what?SANDY is the cover...whoa!check these pics out!just these pics guy...no more, no less...if u wanna see more..buy the mag ok?hehehe...

my comment?she's a big girl..she knows what she's doing..and she's done it great..ok?if u will be giving negative comments it's fine..really...and we're not affected at all..haha...yeah..sandy..go!we know why you did this..and we know...you've got it!!!mwah!!!congratulations!!!

hmmm...what else?i've been having a major stress for the past couple of days...ugh!i hope this will soon be over...so guys..see ya when i have the time to post again..actually this was the only time i had to post...it's 10:56 pm today, friday...i'm having a sleep-over here at the office..u know why?well, better not ask...gudnyt everyone!!!

History Maker

2006-06-27T10:42:00.000+08:00

BY DELIRIOUS

Is it true today... that when people pray
Cloudless skies will break; kings and queens will shake
Yes it's true... and I believe it!
I'm living for you! I’m living for you!

Is it true today... that when people pray
We'll see dead men rise... and the blind set free?
Yes, it's true... and I believe it!
I'm living for you! I’m living for you!

I'm gonna be... a history maker in this land.
I'm gonna be... a speaker of truth to all mankind.
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again.

Well, it's true today... that when people stand
With the fire of God... and the truth in hand
We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing...
We'll see broken hearts... making history!
Yes it's true... and I believe it!
I'm living for you! I’m living for you!

-----------------------------------

one of my fave worship songs, this song really inspired me back in 2000...

for the filipinos...

2006-06-24T10:21:00.000+08:00

a hate letter has been spreading all over the Internet, it's an emaila gainst Filipinos...but i want u to know guys, that Mr. Bell has not done this (hope so)..He is currently living now in the Philippines..Please read on and research about this matter so we don't have to judge Mr. Bell..I just hope the one who really did this...will be punished..

This is a hate letter coming from a radio talk show host Mr. Art Bell from
Nevada. I dont consider myself as patriotic but please read my reply below in
BOLD LETTERS and send this to as many of your friends as
possible
until it reaches him.

Filipinos.....*make me puke* (Art Bell)
As we've all come
to notice, in the past few decades, Filipinos have begun to infest the United
States like some sort of disease. Their extensive involvement in the U.S. Armed
Forces is proof of the trashy kind of qualities all filipinos tend to exhibit on
a regular basis. You can see this clearly by studying the attitudes and cultural
Icons of most Filipino Americans.
Origins of
Pinoys/Pinays:
Are they really asian? Well we've come to
accept the fact the filipinos come from a part of the world known as South East
Asia. But the term "Asia" is used in the wrong way. You may notice that
contemporary Filipino Americans try very hard to associate themselves with
groups that we know as Asian. I cannot count the number of times I have seen a
'Third World' Filipino try to connect themselves to the chinese or Japanese
people. There is no connection and here's why. The Philippines is a Third World
country. Nothing respectable has EVER been created by Filipino people during our
entire human history. Young filipino men in America have become obsessed with
"import racing". They have an enormously perverted affection for Japanese cars.
It's a common phenomenon. In their minds, these Filipinos somehow believe that
they are asian and that it somehow connects them to Japanese people and japanese
cars. They often take credit for the ingenuity of Japanese people and say how
it's an "Asian thing". This term..."Asian thing" derived directly from African
American slang "black thang". "It's a black thang." "It's an asian
thang."
You can see the connection. It's even funnier
that, in Japan, Filipinos are heavily discriminated against. The only filipinos
that can live successfully in Japan are the filipino prostitutes. But that's the
case for most Filipino people no matter where they live in the world. Now we've
come down to this fact...and it is a fact.
Nothing in
Filipino Culture can be seen as Asian.
They have no
architectural, artistic, or cultural influence which is in ANY way, asian.
Thinking of the great countries in Asia such as Japan, Korea, and China there is
no way you can possibly connect the Philippine Islands. This assault by filipino
americans to connect themselves with the great peoples of North East Asia is
foul and disgusting. Try visiting a young filipino's web site
too.
You'll see something called the "Asian IRC Ring". It
has to do with the chatrooms. The most horrible thing about this is that these
TRASHY people are trying to associate themselves with Asia again!! People in
Asia don't act like this at all. What we are seeing here is the natural Filipino
in its element with full access to technology and this is how they act! You will
consistently see this behavior over and over again.

Another interesting thing is that these "thirdworld" people also frequent RC
chatrooms such as ..chinese ..japan and ..asian. They must believe that they are
somehow related racially or culturally to North Asians. But it's completely
WRONG! There might have been some distant contact With China and even less with
Japan during World War II, but these people are actually more closely related to
african americans and Mexican americans.
Do the parents of
these young filipinos know what's going on? Would they accept this? I believe
that they would and do. This is the natural "Trash" element in filipinos
manifesting itself. Nothing good has ever come from Philippines and I don't
believe anything good ever will.
Recognizing your Roots (A
Message to Filipinos). To all filipino people: Please
recognize your ROOTS! You come from the Third World! You country is a disgusting
and filthy place. Most people there live in poverty! Your culture has MUCH MORE
SPANISH influence than chinese, and absolutely no JAPANESE influence whatsoever.
People in Japan and China, do not act like you. They do not constantly talk
about sex and they have a MUCH HIGHER level of RESPECT for each other. There is
NO WAY that you can connect yourself to Asia other than
location.
Your culture and technological advancement does
not even come CLOSE to What Chinese, people have done in the past and what
Japanese and Korean people are doing now! Everything you do is distinctly
filipino. You cannot take credit for Japanese cars, video games, or Hentai! It's
not an "asian thing" it's an "American thing". You have no concept of
culture...no concept of asian ideas or asian philosophy! Can you demonstrate how
you use Confucianism or Taoism in you everyday life?? You can't. And you will
NEVER be able to.
I understand that you are trying to
create an identity for yourselves as young people... but it is NOT related to
Asia. Your Identity is Filipino. That's all you are. Just
Filipino. Think about what that means....

but u know..this letter..made me love the philippines more...and i do hope you too guys...

duh...

2006-06-24T08:30:00.000+08:00

grrr...yesterday i was really mad, i hardly talk to him and meet his eyes...when i went home, he didn't follow...grrr...i thought so...

then when i got home, i asked mahtet if he's still in the office, and yes he was still there, watching catoons at youtube...hmpf!grr, i hated it so much that i texted mahtet to tell him to eat his youtube and that i'm breaking up with him...and with no doubt, he exited the office...don't know where he went after the office...

at around 7 he came, all wet by the pouring of the heavens...i was then washing some clothes, though i didn't feel any better, and was about to finish...when i was about to drain the water, he stood up, got his keys, and went home amidst the storm...duh, he never said a word...strange i didn't feel any remorse for the guy...it was his mistake and now he's making it worse by not talking to me...

i slept soundly at night, but still thinking about him..well, not really about him, but of what he is thinking...i put myself in his shoes...and cannot think of anything that he would be doing for the next 24 hours to win me back..yes, joey's like that..and i got used to it..he will never win you back..he will never initiate talk after an argument...he will keep quiet..and let you be the one to speak..funny huh?well it's true...

today, as i expected he made a sick call..and he asked for me...told him, who's fault is it?and i was the one to blame for making his heart hurt...duh!and now, i couldn't contain myself...i hate to be a woman..when a woman loves, it's sometimes stupid...now i'm giving him a ring and texted him..i guess he's sleeping taking his tiring rest (he can never rest properly while thinking of me...hehehe)...i will be coming over at his bhaus after work...and that's because i love him..ugh!

unwell

2006-06-23T11:21:00.000+08:00

i wanna be happy...joyful...but it seems i'm so hard to please..and yet i give a smile each day, to hide the feelings of loneliness...

last sunday after church, daryll (my youngest sister) and i dropped by at JB san pedro to greet pa a happy father's day...well, what should i expect, i didn't even received a thank u...he wasn't looking at me, and all he can say was about daryll and some of his crew (while talking to his crew not me)...so we decided to go home (yes, in my original home at buhangin)...when we arrived ma and chelly woke up...chin opened the door for us...then, i asked them to eat with me, but said they have finished eaten...i jokingly said, "ah panagsa ra gani ko muuli, dili pa jud makigdungan ug kaon" (ah, i just come home once, and you won't eat with me)..i don't know if i translated it right...but it's sort of like that..hehehe...i was still smiling, but my heart was aching..here i was missing them..and all they can feel was bein' sleepy...nothing changed on a sunday afternoon, if it was not TV, it's a nap good for 5 hours...after eating i enjoyed the privilege of watching asap after more than 2 mos. of not having to watch a TV program....but then my head ached and i started feeling drowsy, so i took a nap (yes, good for 5 hrs.)hahaha...well it was a half asleep and half awake nap...i can hear their voices, i can hear daryll recording her laughter on my phone, can hear the TV as well..and heard pa when he came home around 4...but i kept on sleeping...not bothering to wake up, coz i don't know what i would be doing outside the room...around 6 pangit came..and fetched me to go back to bangkal...and afterall the jitters i felt...father's day...that sunday was just one plain day...that i could not forget...

feeling lonely?nah..that isn't lonely...that's being pitiful...grrr...

today, june 23,2006..i feel sick..yes..again i FEEL sick..i am not sick..i just feel it..and the head ache is back again...i don't know if it's because of the weather or it's because of the pain i feel...i just don't understand why guys would be so "manhid"...and sometimes so UNFAIR...well, i'm not referring to all, ok?i just hate it..when afterall i've done...it just seems, i've done nothing...weird..confused...well, better yet don't read the rest of this passage coz you'll just lose your head...

yesterday, i asked pangit if i could go to his bhaus after class...and he said no...then i asked why can't he come to bangkal (he's our CHEF...)...and he said he's gonna do some laundry...so i asked again for the nth time, if i can go to his bhaus so i can spend some time with him..told him, it would be ok, if i just look at him the whole night..but then it was still NO...i know i'm being childish, but i just felt, he didn't like my presence at all...or he was used to me always being there...always at his sight...i went to class after work..not bothering to say bye to him..i hated him...i can't understand why we can't be ALWAYS together (yeah, guys i know sometimes i could be a little possesive..and i don't care)...after class, i couldn't resist but call him..so i called him (thanx to SUN)...i asked why i can't come?he asked, we've been together the whole day..so what does he mean?does he mean he's used to me?urgh..told him..i am not asking for anything else but time...and there was so much talk...that i end up ending the call...i cried a lil bit...i was still at school remember...?

after the phone call, i indulged my self to the jokes presented by my friends ponyang, peng, keaken, and others...then we had a chat with our classsmate weng who was crying because of one lame joke...we comforted her and told her everything would be fine...after that, we went to NCCC to buy some stuff...after that we went home..fried fish for dinner...washed some white shirts...and chat for a while with mahtet and ken..and slept..

but the pain was there...i told myself...for all these years..i was always the one, keeping up..following..begging..aranging schedules..hahay...am i selfish?am i possesive?am i hard to please?then so be it...if he doesn't want time..i won't give him any..if he doesn't want attention..i won't mind giving attention to others...

i'm tired of driving myself too much..that sometimes i ask if i'm still normal...or am i lovable?hmpf...who says NO?if he's got a problem with my attitude then better yet he find another one...grrr...

well..those are my sentiments guys..i know..these are boring stuff for u..or nonsense and childish posts..but thanks anyway for letting me share this..

i think i'll be fine..yes i THINK..it's all in the mind right?have a blessed day everyone..muahh!

what's up?

2006-06-17T22:42:00.000+08:00

hehehe...uhm...i forgot to tell u guys...that i just moved in bangkal last monday with mahtet and keaken...hehehe...the move was okay..i love the house..though it's quite far from the city..i remember the old days where my family and i used to live in nha...those where the trial days..uh..years...GOD tested me that time real hard..and HE showed me what FAMILY is all about and all...

speaking of family..papa and i saw last last sunday...it was a teary sunday (not infront of him though)...i miz him..i miz them...sometimes i ask myself why we should be apart..why can't i just live with them...but then...reality would struck me...and say...it has been done...oh, well...i've been making things right, now...tomorrow is father's day and i'll surprise him, visit him at JB san pedro..then i'll go directly to our house...be with my mama and sisters...the other day, i just spent time with chelly n daryll..i miz them terribly..we ate at mc do (the all time fave fries and coke float and mayo)..hehehe...

so that's family now...school...i just attended once for this week..and that was yesterday, friday...hehehe..i already had a meeting with my officers and much has been discussed for about 30 mins. (i already set the agenda...so no need to stop and think of what should be talked about and done..hehehe)...this school year will be a busy and successful year for MC studs...i do hope...and i fully need ur cooperation guys..hope we will have a big blast on my last school year..

work?it was a miracle that everything turned out just fine...hehehe..i guess it's because of toot...hahaha..yep, i still need to leave some things hidden..hehehe...and i'm really excited with the street party this coming kadayawan and baister...

wow!!!this year will be really busy...and the biz ofcourse...how can i forget...we will be putting up a bookshop and computer services biz, together with some of my colleagues...pls. do pray that this would be a success..

much thanks to all of u guys!!!!mwah...

a big thank u...

2006-06-14T11:18:00.000+08:00

daghang salamat...to my new bisaya friends from bisaya bloggers hope that you would continue to visit my blog and browse my pages (even if it's not updated..hehehe..)...

ok..that's it for now..time to work...later i'll be going to school for the second day of class...i haven't attended class yesterday...because i know how it is in the university of money...hehehe....on the first day, you'll just waste moeny, time, and effort...peace!

btw, friends do u have books?old books?new books?any books?do u have the heart to give them to me?hehehe..if you do have books,please email me or leave a comment or just tag me..and I'll get back to you...okies?thankies so much!!!

Top 100 MOvies from TIME Magazine

2006-06-10T17:06:00.000+08:00

The Apu Trilogy (1955, 1956, 1959)

The Awful Truth (1937)

Baby Face (1933)

Bande à part (1964)

Barry Lyndon (1975)

Berlin Alexanderplatz (1980)

Blade Runner (1982)

Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

Brazil (1985)

Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Camille (1936)

Casablanca (1942)

Charade (1963)

Children of Paradise (1945)

Chinatown (1974)

Chungking Express (1994)

Citizen Kane (1941)

City Lights (1931)

City of God (2002)

Closely Watched Trains (1966)

The Crime of Monsieur Lange (1936)

The Crowd (1928)

The Decalogue (1989)

Detour (1945)

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)

Dodsworth (1936)

Double Indemnity (1944)

Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Drunken Master II (1994)

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

8 1/2 (1963)

The 400 Blows (1959)

Farewell My Concubine (1993)

Finding Nemo (2003)

The Fly (1986)

Top 100 Novels from TIME Magazine

2006-06-10T17:02:00.000+08:00

not feeling well...

2006-06-10T14:45:00.000+08:00

hmmm...i have not been feeling well for the past days bcoz of my colds...maybe this is because of the weather...hmmm...

so eventhough i wanna blog about sumthin...i'll just blog it next tym...ok?i'll juz post other topics here that may be relevant 2 u...

ciao..GOD bless people..

U say, GOD says...

2006-06-09T13:38:00.000+08:00

before i go home..juz wanna share this uh article i read at davao business ads...

U SAY - It's impossible...........
GOD SAYS - All things are possible..
(Luke 18:27)
U SAY - I'm too tired.............
GOD SAYS - I will give you rest.
(Matt.11:28-30)
U SAY - Nobody really loves me...
.GOD SAYS - I love you.
(John 3:16)
U SAY - I can't go on.............
GOD SAYS - My grace is sufficient.
(2Cor.12:9)
U SAY - I can't figure things out.
GOD SAYS - I will direct your steps.
(Prov. 3:5-6)
U SAY - I can't do it.............
GOD SAYS - You can do all things.
(Phil.4:13)
U SAY - I'm not able..............
GOD SAYS - I am able.
(2Cor.9:8)
U SAY - I'ts not worth it.........
GOD SAYS - It will be worth it.
(Rom.8:28)
U SAY - I can't forgive myself.....
GOD SAYS - I forgive you.
(1John 1:9)
U SAY - I can't manage............
GOD SAYS - I will supply all your needs.
(Phil.4:19)
U SAY - I'm afraid................
GOD SAYS - I have not given you the spirit of fear.
(2Tim.1:7)
U SAY - I'm always worried& frustrated.
GOD SAYS - Cast all your cares on me.
(1Peter 5:7)
U SAY - I'm not smart enough......
GOD SAYS - I give you wisdom.
(1Cor.1:30)
U SAY - I feel all alone..........
GOD SAYS - I will never leave you or forsake you.
(Heb.13:5)

Have a blessed weekend everyone...I'm really not feeling well...huhuhu...

movies...movies...movies...

2006-06-02T16:10:00.000+08:00

this year i have watched 6 Hollywood films already...uh...maybe...hehehe...first in the list is Underworld: Evolution... I can't remember watching it this year...hehehe, until I searched for 2006 movies... The movie was as usual great..hehehe...Kate Beckinsale was really effective in her role. Ok, Second on the list is GLORY ROAD...a very good true story of dreaming and surviving as a team...the lead role was played by Josh Lucas who also starred in Poseidon (which i didn't have the chance to watch, grr.). And then third was Mission Impossible 3.. I just loved it, the best of all MI'..hehehe. And I loved Tom Cruise more... though he's being short was emphasized on screen because of his tall partner...hehehe...Nonetheless he is still one of the best looking Hollywood actors (yes just one, because there's Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Chad, Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp, Collin Farrel and duh a lot more!)...Ok, next to the list is the most controversial one, Da Vinci Code... enough with the views on the movie, uh, how about the actors? Well, sorry Tom Hanks fans I really don't like the way he acts, it's just plain... But I like that new girl who also starred in Ameli (right?) what was her name? Let me ask Google...hehehe..Audrey Tautou...thanks Google...She's really sweet-looking...:D...And the last one on my list as of today June 2, 2006 5:02 PM, Philippine time was X-MEN: The Last Stand... It was really awesome... and Hugh Jackman was really a hunk...Oh Wolverine...hehehe...But I'm quite disappointed because Rogue didn't have a part on teh final battle...hohoho..what's worse she was cured...And she was my childhood hero...huhu...But I'm still hoping on the next sequel, yep the next sequel which I'm still planning at this moment..hehhee...she will gain back her powers and have that original white and sort of maroon-colored hair...hehee... So that was my hollywood movie journey for the past 5 months...

And the movies I haven't got the chance to watch were: Poseidon, Scary Movie 4 (hmm, was it shown already?here in dvo?), Underclassman (huhu, Nick!), V for Vendetta (My Natalie...), Big Momma's House 2, Ice Age 2: The Meltdown, Bandidas, Pink Panther, Tristan and Isolde, She's the Man...WAAAH! I'll watch these on DVD along with the other films I have collected...if I would have my own DVD player and a television ofcourse...uh, can you lend me one guys?

And the movies I'll be awaiting: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Superman Returns, Lakehouse, Inside Man, Garfield 2, Resident Evil: Afterlife, The Butterfly Effect 2 (with new casts), Wonderwoman, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift,Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties, Click, The Devil Wears Prada, Miami Vice, Invincible, Happy Feet, and more to come!!!

Oh, question will Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix be shown this year or next year? I just searched Google now and saw that it would still be next year...long wait...

The Da Vinci Code

2006-05-29T11:58:00.000+08:00

I watched, yes I repeat I watched the Da Vinci Code last uh..Tuesday?Well, I'm not quite sure...when... I have also read the book... and it's really interesting...so I can't blame why people flock in theaters to watch it... For me, I've watched it because I'm curious on how will the movie go, will there be changes on what Dan brown has written and which is better the movie or the book?

But then, the big question is? Should this movie be patronized? Afterall what has been written by the author? Yeah, the author himself... For me, at first I didn't realized that this movie would change people... I just thought..ei what a heck, I can watch this because for real I can't be changed, I know more than what Dan Brown knows... this is just fiction... my faith is intact... Not realizing that...hey, what about other people?How about those who didn't know Jesus at all?Or how about those who have little faith (if there's such a thing...)...

Well, I have no grudge for the people who have seen it, or for the people who are going to watch it...or the people who have read it..or will be reading it...coz I for one...patronized the film and the book...And yes, it's real fiction...but it's blasphemy...Do not know blasphemy? Please look it up at webster...

Well..as a believer and as a Christian, I am not trying to be religious here...what I'm trying to do is encourage you people all over the world to research your history and know what lies behind the bible...THE BIBLE IS REAL, it may have been translated, but it is not MAN-MADE...ok?If you have any doubts, RESEARCH...ok?

I have a little something for my co-believers in Christ...well not a little something... it's a reading material given by the Church I am currently attending...this is like a guideline for us believers on how to make this film an opportunity..ok?Hope you'll enjoy it...and make use of it... STAND FIRM IN JESUS!!!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FILE DVC.doc

speechless

2006-05-12T12:21:00.000+08:00

why am i speechless? because, i'm irritated, disappointed, mad, and not in the mood to say something...

hehe..shock?i have not been updating my blog for quite sometime now..because i'm really busy... not as busy as a bee..but busy...and then this things happens...

i don't know if i'm just being paranoid...or its the real thing that i'm seeing..

well, nevermind...don't mind me...

u have a lot to worry..and me, too..hehehe..

my head is achin' every second...and things just get worse every minute...but hey...whoever told u this is a perfect world to live in?

if this is life?so be it...

"creationz et al" section

2006-05-06T12:20:00.000+08:00

i've made this new section/blog for my site, so i can put all my stuffs here..avatars, siggys, wallpapers, templates.. so keep posted guys, coz i may be making something for u too...for free?hehehe...for free for the first ones and special ones...hehehe...

and i'll be sharing some stuff that u can't use, like logos i made, and other stuffs...okies???

zipsite.net

2006-05-05T10:19:00.000+08:00

hey guys...visit our community website....enjoy!!!

global personality test results

2006-05-05T10:16:00.000+08:00

i took a test at similarminds.com and here are the results...waks...i don't know if any of this is true...hehehe

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	73%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	73%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Hedonism	\|\|	10%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Avoidant	\|\|	10%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Wealth	\|\|	10%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	44%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

surviving @ 22...

2006-05-03T16:55:00.000+08:00

i'm happy that i've reached this age..thanks to GOD and to the people around me... good and bad people... they made me what i am today.... strong and surviving...

i am so happy today because my office mates surprised me, i got to blew 22 candles in a pink cake...hehehe..afetr a long time...hehehe...i'll post d pic of my cake wen i have the time to transfer it...hehehe..

then daryll and mama went here..actually daryll is still here...playing...she bought a gift for me...i'l also post a pic of that gift...hahaha...a mug inside a coin bank...LOONEY TUNES>..hehehe..my favorite...

and i thank GOD for giving me such good friends who have wished wonderful things for me and greeted me...thank you all...hehehe...

so i guess this is just it for now....i am happy to survive in this world...thanks to you...

uh..pahabol..thanks to my sisters...and to my one and only..PANGIT....

..compelled to excel...

2006-05-02T18:42:00.000+08:00

last sunday the pastor had the second sequel (hehehe) on his preach about excellence... he preached about being compelled to excellence as Paul said... we are compelled to be excellent in our faith, speech, knowledge, diligence, love and giving...

can we do this? can we be excellent in these things??? well, we should be...as children of GOD...

this matter is so hard to explain, expecially to non-believers..but nonetheless, let us be excellent in our own ways...by not competing with other people..but being the BESt as we can be...not having to give just the "good enough"..but the BEST...

BEST means achieving what you want to achieve...doing what you think is right and perfect...

BEST, EXCELLENCE, PERFECTION doesn't have to be spot-free...but having to lessen the spot each day as you go your way to live...

GOD bless all..let us be excellent and perfect in our own ways...mwahhh....

matigas daw ulo ko..

2006-04-29T15:56:00.000+08:00

^^^any comments???hehehe...i'm hurting... but i'm still laughing and living life as it is... i don't understand why he can say na "matigas ang ulo ko" (hard headed, stubborn)..when in fact...ugh...i wanna cry...cry soo hard...

well..he doesn't know me that well..even if i'm his...

i don't want to speak ill of him...

GOD bless...

is it just me?

2006-04-29T15:42:00.000+08:00

oh well..is it just me?or...hmmm...i don't know where i went wrong...what have i done?uh..i guess, people change...and people judge...as much as they don't want to...

grrr..it hurts to lose a friend..or lose a friend's trust...

i don't know if i should still be expecting for friendship or would i settle for nothing...and move on?

duh...i hate this...not knowing what is happening around me...grrr...

have a nice day everyone...

life must go on...

2006-04-23T08:58:00.000+08:00

hehehe...i'm happy...after three weeks away from home...i can finally sy that im happy...for the past weeks, i experienced loneliness and sorrow, but not regret..i m so determined to continue what i've started...

last week, i shed all my tears when i wrote a letter for all of them, ma, pa, chin, chelly n daryll...i miz them terribly...and i should forgive and ask forgiveness...from that day on, i promised i will not speak ill of them, but bless them and pray for them and love them even more...yeah, i know its kinda hard...and the process is really that fast...but i managed...that's why i can smile and laugh sincerely now...

yup, i miz them, and i wish i can see them, and be with them...but time will just tell...what's important now is that, i am not hurt anymore...

that's why life must go on...thanks to all the people around me...pangit, mahtet, mame candies, ate niz, jenay, jenny, ate jinkoy, and most especially to GOD...

and to u too, who's praying for me...:D..daghang salamat...

and for a friend, i wish u could offer prayer for her heart and soul, too....sandy, i know, we know...u can make it...we love u..mwah...

new template done...

2006-04-20T13:04:00.000+08:00

yahoo!!!i have my new template done...thanx to...photoshop and some sites for their free brushes...hahaha...!!!!

new look..but still pink..enjoy...:D

Lagi Mo Na Lang Akong Dinededma

2006-04-07T14:19:00.000+08:00

BY: rocksteddy

Matagal ko ng gustong malaman mo
Matagal ko ng itinatago-tago 'to
Nahihiyang magsalita
At umuurong aking dila
Pwede bang bukas na
Ipagpaliban muna natin 'to

Dahil kumukuha lang ng tiyempo
Upang sabihin sa iyo

Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang ramdam
Mahal kita, kahit 'di mo na ako tinitignan
Mahal kita, kahit 'di mo lang alam, ohwoh..

Matagal ko ng gustong sabihin 'to
Matagal ko ng gustong aminin sa'yo
Sandali, eto na
At sasabihin ko na
Ngayon na, mamaya
O baka pwedeng bukas na

Dahil kumukuha lang ng buwelo
Upang sabihin sa iyo

Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang ramdam
Mahal kita, kahit 'di mo na ako tinitignan
Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam, ohwoh..

Ngunit kumukuha lang ng tiyempo
Upang sabihin sa iyo

Mahal kita pero hindi mo lang alam
Hindi mo alam kasi hindi mo naman ako tinitignan
Ayaw mo naman itanong sa akin
Kasi baka nga naman hindi naman ikaw
At hindi ko rin naman sa'yo sasabihin
Kasi ayoko pa sa ngayon na manligaw
Mahal kita pero hindi nga lang halata
Hindi halata kasi wala naman akong ginagawa
Hindi ako kumikibo, hindi ako nagsasalita, wala!
Pero hindi ako torpe
Hindi ko lang talaga masabi sa'yo ng harapan
Mahal kita pero dehins mo pa rin ramdam
Hindi mo ko titignan, hindi rin kita titignan
Lagi mo lang akong pakikiramdaman
Lagi rin kitang pakikiramdaman
At araw-araw tayong magdededmahan
Hanggang sa tayo ay magkabistuhan
Pero ngayong malapit nang matapos ang kanta ko
Nais kong magkaalaman na
Nais kong ako na rin ang magsabi sayo ng harapan
Kasi alam kong dun din naman ang tuloy nyan
At dalawa rin lang naman ang posibleng sagot dyan, oo o hinde
Kaya eto na sasabihin ko na para matapos na
At hindi na magka-tsismisan pa
Sasabihin ko na para wala nang problema
At para hindi na rin kayong lahat nabibitin pa

Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang ramdam
Mahal kita, kahit 'di mo na ako tinitignan
Mahal kita, kahit lagi mo na lang akong dinededma

(di naman ako dinededma ng pangit ko noh...like ko lang yung song..e ano ngayon?hehehe...)

Gugmang Giatay

2006-04-06T18:52:00.000+08:00

BY: ambassadors

kung ikaw masayud
paminawon mo
kay kung pananglit
lang iran mo
mga panun-paw pasalig ko
kung ugaling kalit kang mubiya
di ko kapugngan akong(?) mga luha
kay ikaw akong himaya
handumon ko matag karun ug unya
ikaw ang langit ug yuta ako pinangga .. ahhh

oh lahh. aahhhh

2x
unya mihabol(?) ang kangitngit
na giduyugan sa ulan
ug sa kalit lng nahanaw
ang bidlisiw sa adlaw

CHORUS
oh kahayag sa imong panagway
nga naulipon sa gugmang giatay
inday paminawa kabos kong gugma
nga kanimo akong igasa
dili ko man mahatag ang tanang bahandi
'ning kalibutan apan inday unya intawon
hinaot na naulipon sa gugmang giatay
ohhhh ....

my song for this moment,,,hehehe,,

2006-04-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

The One Who Holds My Heart

I thought that some time alone, was what we really needed.
You siad this time would hurt more than it helps, but I couldnt see it.
I thought it was the end of a beautiful story.
And so I left the one I love, at home to be alone, Ooo Ohh

And I Tried and find out this one thing is true that im nothing without you,
I know better now and I've had a change of heart.

Chorus:
I'd Rather had bad times with you, then good times with someone else.
I'd rather beside you in a storm, then safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart.
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart, oOooO yeh.

And then I met someone and thought that she could replace you.
We got along just fine, but wasted time because she was not you.
We had alot of fun, though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection built on lies, on lies.

So Im here cause i found this one thing is true, that im nothing without you,
I know better now and I've had a change of heart.

Chorus:

I'd Rather had bad times with you, then goodtimes with someone else.
I'd rather beside you in a storm, then safe and warm by myself,
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart.
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart, who holds my heart.

I cant blame you if you turn away from me, Like I've done you
I can only prove the things I've say with time, please be mine!

Chorus 2x

Id Rather had bad times with you, then goodtimes with someone else.
Id rather beside you in a storm, then safe and warm by myself
Id rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart.
id rather have the one who holds my heart.

Id Rather have the one who holds my heart.
Id Rather have the one who holds my heart....
WhoOo holds My HEART.

new life...new beginning...

2006-04-03T17:14:00.000+08:00

i recently moved out of our "home" yesterday..feeling uncertain of what teh future awaits me...but then i have positive views of the near future...i know i can make it..cause if i can't..i just have to make things happen...hehehe...(wlang lusot)...

yesterday, before i bid goodbye to my LOVED ONES, my eyes roamed the house for the slightest detail of love and affection..and i saw none...it hurt..but then i must move on..with or without them...and when everything was inside the taxi, i climbed back to the house and said goodbye.."ma, pa alis na po ako.."those were the exact words i said... and i get no response...not even a glimpse from them...tears were slowly forming in my eyes, but i fought back...and smiled...as i hugged and kissed my youngest sibling for the last time (for now)..."ate kaw pa rin magpapa-aral sa akin ha?"..i don't know how to feel..she has been saying that since i opened to her that i'm moving out..the first time she cried...i thought she'll miss me..but then she was just worried about her studies... funny how a 6 year old girl thinks... i wanna assure her that yes i'll still send her to school..but then my pocket is not an assurance...then, i glanced back inside the house, my third sister smiled..i don't know if it's an expression of "good luck" or a sign of relief...

i went back to the taxi..thinking that i'll be okay..but as the taxi sped away from the compound...tears just fell..until we reached the boarding house... pangit said, not now..but i said, i had to..coz as soon as i get inside my new room, everything should be OKAY...no going back...no more tears..just peace...and joy...

so as soon as we arranged the room...no more sad stories were shared...just joy...eventhough we were both thinking of what happened... pangit respected my silence as i decorated the place..he knew how i felt...

i didn't feel alone or lonely..and i didn't regret what i did... i felt stupid... that after all that i've done, this is how i am treated... i don't know if what i did was right or wrong... i just had to do it...and i'm happy of what i did... i just hope they didn't let me feel that i did not belong to the family...

well...i moved out..i moved on..i have to face whatever challenges i have to face... i thank GOD for giving me this new life...this new beginning..and i thank pangit for being always here by my side...and i thank the PARKERS for all the support...and all my friends who have accepted me as i am...

for all the love... thank you...;D

emote mode 03/19/06

2006-03-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

i've come to face my greatest weakness & that is leaving the people i love. for almost 22 years of my existence, i only had one thing on mind & that is to give them the best of everything until now, that's the first thing that i think of, but i guess i've come to realize that i should have something for myself, that i should love myself first before others. i've spent all my life trying trying to please everybody, spent each single day of my life serving them.

i don't regret the things that i have done for this family, cause they mean EVERYTHING to me. but when REALIZATION knocks, you begin to see the big picture, REALITY. you begin to see the TRUTH, that no matter how you please them, you can never please them, that no matter how hard you work for them, they will never appreciate. and the fact that it will all be about you & not them.

for many years i clinged to the fact that i love my family & i will do everything for them, that i sometimes, well most of the times, forget about myself. well, i am not a perfect person, nor am i a good daughter, but one thing is for sure, i tried to understand & believe them. many promises have been broken, ties have been destroyed, but i manage to stay calm & pursue what i dream for this family.

but maybe i am no longer a child, i am an adult trying to live on my own. it hurts to think that i must move on, on my own. but it hurts more to think that nothing's gonna happen in this world if i will not make a choice.

the LORD has taught me how to be strong after all these years of struggle & i thank Him so much that He has never ever left my side. He saw all the tears that i shed, that others have not witnessed. He saw all the dreams that i make & He knew al along that i'm going to achieve them. He knows my heart more than anyone else in the world, that's why i can't ever let go of Him. He knows me inside & out, i just hope that others knew me that well, too.

Everyday i am hurting, but i manage to smile & satisfy myself with God's overwhelming blessings. Everyday I worry but God tells me to stay calm, & when everything seems so unfair, he makes me see reality. For 22 years, people had come & go, struggles have weakend & strengthened me, but one thing never changed, & that is God's love for me.

I may go now & be far away, one thing will remain, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

stressed out..

2006-03-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

the past few weeks have been very hectic for me... my cellphone has always been loaded with messages, even from people i don't know..this certainly was not because of the unlimited text craze... but because i was the woman of the hour...hahaha...it's a privilege and an honor to be trusted and to be known by many...but it's certainly not a good experience to be ABUSED...hehehe...but nonetheless, i love what i'm doing... uh, most of it... well what have i been doing???

uh, where will i start? i was the newly elected president for the next school year...but even though i have not taken oath yet, my duty has started...at first i enjoyed the fame and the trust... and i know it was the chance for me to make my ideas work...but suddenly, everything just poured on me..."mei, can u do this?", "mei, can u go here?", "mei, mei"...wak! and all they do was ask me to do these things... i never had the chance to decide... they overpowered me... and all they needed was my YES... i know i should be serving them... and i did all of that... i just hope, they don't use and abuse my patience and my indulgence...

then...before i should be president...i am this year's treasurer...well, there's no protest on collecting fees... the problem is... like for instance the printing of shirt... i collect, i designed (voluntarily), i made the deal, i delivered the shirts, and i got the shirts... hmmm??? what was the part of the treasurer there??? la la la la....

uh...next...because they trust me too much..well i really don't know if they trust me..or they just elected me as the director of our show because of my unwavering initiative and perseverance to make things done..because honestly...i don't feel like i am the director..because instead of me telling them what to do..it's the other way around...well, i'm not saying that their suggestions won't be appreciated...i just hope that my VOICE will be heard..ugh..i feel so stupid being the director...but there's someone directing me what to do...and they complain too much..and demand too much...that i really get irritated.. plus..they're not being serious with me...hay...

then...i'm always the leader...and should always be the one to decide...well not just in school..also with relationships i have..family, pangit, friends... hahaha...it's ironic right???i don't like someone telling me what to do...but neither do i want to be the one always deciding on what should be done?....am i clear or am i getting mentally-ill?

this morning, pangit and i had an argument, as we were texting each other...well i told him, that i hate people with no plans..well, something like that...and told him, that i have so many dreams..so many, that i cannot afford to stay put and be contented with what i have now...i'm not saying that i'm not contented with what GOD gave me...but i do believe, GOD has big plans for me..and i intend to achieve it...i don't want my future family to be what i am now... then, i realized that i'm becoming ambitious...is it a SIN?i just want to achieve my dreams..well, we argued, but we didn't say bad to one another..after that we settled in texting also...hehehe...

these past days have been really BUSY and STRESSFUL... i easily get irked... especially if someone asks me for the nth time the same thing i announced a couple of tyms...can't they get it?or are they just irritating me?huhuhu...and i really hate it when i get irritated...because i'm not used to shouting at people..i really lose my patience these days...and i'm really worried...huhuhu...

and one thing, i don't like EXCUSES...i don't like uncooperative people.. i don't like bragging people when they don't have something to brag... neither do i like those who don't believe on their own capacity... i don't like people depending on me... i don't like people who don't know what to dream...ugh!!!when i was not this stressful, i was patient...i try to understand everyone...i try to blend in.. i try not to argue...but then...i was not that stressful... so please let LIGHT shine upon thise people i work with...let they know what they are doing...and let I be so ever patient...

wak...i really think that i'm mentally-ill now...so till next time...CIAO!!!

another day...

2006-03-04T14:38:00.000+08:00

i've been really busy..physically and mentally speaking.. i don't know what to do first..but yeah i know i can do it... i thank GOD for giving me another day...another day of work..of love...of school...of meeting new friends...of blogging...of surfing the net...facing my pc monitor..of eating...of sleeping...of laughing...of crying...another day of living in this so-called world...

sometimes i feel down...well most of us really feel down...but when i get to that point of falling...i think about other people...the wowowee tragedy victims, landslide victims, the street children, the disabled people...and for that i see that GOD has given me enough to live...i may not have the perfect family... not even close to perfection...i may not have a good house..may not have the chance to eat a meal or two...may have been working like a dog for the past couple of years...i still am lucky...oh no, not lucky...just blessed...

maybe we people should see the little but beautifula nd splendid things that GOD has offered us...the sun, the moon and teh stars...everyone that surrounds us... even the people who we think are so uncool...they are blessings...because if not for them...YOU WOULDN'T BE YOU...

hahaha...yes, i am still disappointed with a lot of things..i am still unhappy for having a stressful youth age... i'm still not OKAY... well no one is...as far as i know...but i am not giving up..and i thank GOD for sharing HIS life to me...and to that...i couldn't ask for more...

hello world!

2006-02-28T18:57:00.000+08:00

it has been exactly 15 days since i last posted...hehehe..uhm, i've been totally busy and preoccupied for the past two weeks... school...work...family... all i can do is breathe in and breathe out... and because of the stressful weeks i had, i feel so tired now.. and sick... honestly, i wanna cry... u know why? well.... i've been doing a lot of thinking for the past days..and i think i've made up my mind..i'm moving out of the house..for good... but i still haven't find a place...a low-cost place for meh... huhuhu... i have several reasons why i want to move... first, because i'm not feeling comfortable anymore... i feel so stressed out when i go home... and its not fair!!!its supposed to be the best place to stay...right?huhuhu...then, i want to be independent... and so on and so forth... i'm just tired... and i wanna make things happen....

speaking of making things happen..i'm organizing a production outfit for our school...i'm still thinking of the right name for us... then we'll be covering ARAW NG DABAW... so watch out for it here... and then we'll be having different programs... i just want to apply everything that i have learned from school...and that i can be able to share it to other people... we are 13 in the group... i hope we'll be able to make it...yipppeeee!!!!

and???what else... i'm planning for seminars this school year... i have to make this school year fruitful for all masscom...yippeee!!!and the PARANGAL NG MEDIA is coming... i'll be posting some pictures here soon...so i guess that's just it for now...

i don't want you to be burdened with my sad stories...so bee happy guys..mwah!!!!

miz me?

2006-02-13T18:21:00.000+08:00

hahaha...i miz posting here...i have so much to say..but i don't have that much energy to share right now...for the past weeks i've been terribly busy. ..physically and mentally....hahaha... i failed my first director's plan for children's program..then i passed my second dp, which was for a documentary program...thank GOD!!!i was really relieved because i did not only pass, but was also one of the few who got the highest grade..hehehe...and i wasn't expecting something, especially because i was half awake and half asleep when i made that plan...hehehe...

love life?hehehe..pangit and i have been too busy to see each other... but we're okay..hehehe... he just went home yesterday... we spent time watching movies, red eye and again mr. and mrs. smith...i love brad pitt!!!then again we watched maid in manhattan...we just wanted to spend time together...he went home around 1am...i slept at around 4am..why?well, i had so much in my mind..then my father was snoring loudly..hahaha...

today, we had a classroom seminar...and because we were the group in charge..i haven't had the time to eat lunch..and that's why my stomach hurts right now, even if i had eaten..huhuhu..

i'll be working on our third DP today... it's for a talk show..wish me luck everyone!!!may GOD give me wisdom and my teacher give me a passing grade...hahaha...

btw, i passed my two subjects for last term..hurray!!!i really hope i can graduate this october, so that i won't be thinking about school anymore..just work...right???

ok got to go now...CIAO!!! hmm, btw i'd like to thank my ate niz and mame candies for their neverending support to me...and ofcourse jenay, my pakner...and the rest of the parkers...as for the others...GOD bless you...hehehe...

oh last one..before i say adios, want to share to you..that i am elected as the new president..for school year 2006-2007 of the MEdIA org...that's the org of our Mas Communication Dept...hmmm..projects?i have many of those...hehehe...

ok, ADIOS!!!!

45 PAINFUL REALITIES IN LIFE (about loving!)

2006-02-11T14:58:00.000+08:00

i have been so busy this past few days.. i didn't even noticed that it would be just 3 days before valentines..hahaha..time is so swift...well, for the love month, i'd like to share these so-called realities in life about loving...thnx for my ever beautiful and thoughtful friend...jenay..mishu sis!!!!

01. flashing your smile to someone you don't
want to see
02. bringing back the feeling you've learned to
forget
03. showing that you care
04. finding a way to mend a broken heart
05. learning that you've been used by
someone you truly love
06. saying i love you when you mean it and
when you don't
07. letting go of a person you've just learned
to love
08. realizing that you love somebody you've
just taken for granted
09. realizing that you love the person you've
just broken up with
10. waiting for promises you know she or he
will never keep
11. saying your love for someone who loves
somebody else
12. reminiscing the good times you shared
together
13. shielding your heart to love somebody
14. trying to hide what you really feel
15. having a commitment with someone that
you know would not last
16. trying to hide the tears that voluntarily
fall from your eyes
17. sharing the one you love with someone
else
18. loving a person too much
19. giving up someone you never thought of
giving up
20. falling in love for the first time
21. loving someone you haven't seen
22. having the right love at the wrong time
23. exerting effort to make the relationship
last or work
24. not being appreciated when you know
you've given your best
25. taking the risk to fall in love again
26. hiding your relationship from someone else
27. controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a
friend
28. choosing between two persons whom you
really love
29. finding out that you can never have the
person you just let go of
30. seeing the person you love with someone
else
31. learning that the person who claimed to
have loved you so much never really cared
32. seeing the one you love fall for someone else
33. falling for your best friend and knowing
that things can never be the same again
34. learning to trust after you have been betrayed
35. accepting that it was not meant to be
36. smiling when all you want to do is cry
37. falling and knowing that it can never be
38. not being able to love the person who truly
cares for you
39. saying that you can never love a person
the way he loves you
40. hearing that he can never love you the way
that you love him
41. saying that you are over someone you still love
42. being friends again and learning to let go
of each other coz you both know it is better
that way
43. convincing oneself that you are not in love
when you know that you are
44. having to let go because you know that he
deserves someone else
45. trying not to remember how perfect
everything used to be..

juz wanna share this...

2006-02-06T20:00:00.000+08:00

TRUE LOVE

*My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady
nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad
shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would
have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving
him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a
relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a
little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite,
his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic
moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I
finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for
everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a
lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't
even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?

And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?"
Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality,
and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question,
if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's
say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we
both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you
do it for me?"

He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just
sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper
with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining
table near the front door, that goes....

My dear,

"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain
the reasons further.."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs,
and you cry in front of the screen, I have to saved my fingers so that
I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to
rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to
save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches
every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in
your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by
infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and
stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for
your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help
to clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I
can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy
the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of
flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you
more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting...
and as I conntinue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied,
please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your
favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching
tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does,
and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies
in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has
never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. .
flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface
of the relationship.

Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our
life... Love, not words win arguments...*

huhuhu..right?

28

2006-01-28T17:27:00.000+08:00

weee...it's the 28th today..and i don't have my pangit to be with...hehehe...but i already called him up this morning... and it was nice talking to him again..without arguing with each other...hehehe... by the way, i've been blog hopping these past days, and i found some real cool blogs..and one of them was that of the dormitory boys..they really made me laugh.. so visit them ok?

i've been trying the blogrolling thing..but i don't know..why it doesn't work in my blog..well whatever... i do hope to meet some friends here in the blogworld...

uh, i miss the parkers... i have been quite busy for the past couple of weeks..and i have not been feeling well...huhuhu... i hope to spend more time with them at PEX soon...hmmm...

oh, btw i wanna congratulate manny pacquiao for winning against morales...great job pacman!!!hehehe...

what else??? hmmm.... i can't think of anything else for now... so see ya later..or next time...mwah!!!

Back Dormitory Boys

2006-01-28T16:28:00.000+08:00

I uploaded a vid of the BDB on the Videoz Section, but its the blooper one...so that means you got to check out their site at The Dormitory Boys ..ok?enjoy guys!!!Uh, u know what I found some copycats of the BDB in You Tube..that means they're really making it great, because they have been copied by others...hehehe...but no one can beat them with their lip synching...hehehe..

The Dormitory Boys

2006-01-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

The Dormitory Boys

waaaaaaah..these guys are great...they are hilarious!!!

hanging on...and on...and on...

2006-01-25T17:57:00.000+08:00

hmmm...i'm tired...uh, physically and mentally...i wanna cry... wanna shout...just to let these hard feelings flow...waaaaaaaaaaah!!!yeah, i hope i can do that...but sad to say..i can't...i don't know...i feel numb...i feel alone... i feel blue...(yes my dear jeany, i'll be keeping on the positive side)...but there are certain things..that u just don't understand...things that u don't know how to deal with..or worse u don't know what's happening..and what you're really feeling...waaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

hey world can you just knock my head off?huhuhu... i don't know if i can live up to everybody's expectation...or even my own expectations...i'm real tired...huhuhu...LORD, i'm sorry for being like this...i know i'm not suppose to be like this...well mind u...i'm never like this when i'm with the real world..thanks to technology..there's blogspot i can turn to...wahahaha..

i wanna tell the world, tell my family, tell everyone..that hey..can't you see the pain i'm feeling? (uh, i hate crying in front of the monitor, words become blurry...hahaha)..hey can't you see i'm tired? hey i'm bored!!!i feel sick!!!waaaaaah!!!but you know that i can't...i really can't...coz i have to be the STRONG one...i have to keep on fighting...yeah they say you have a choice...you can choose what to do with ur life...really?if i have a choice...i won't be nagging in this blog..if i had the choice..i won't be crying everytime my sister drives me crazy...if i had a choice, i won't be working and studying at the same time...but do i have a choice?

i'm not being selfish...i'm not being rude...but don't you think i'm being too generous?waaaah!!!yes, i wanna do what what i'm doing right now, i love helping my family..because i love them...well i just hope they'll appreciate it...i just hope that they'll see what i'm feeling inside...uh, i don't even know what i'm feeling inside...they don't even know that i'm thinking about them 24/7...and i hate it..because i can't leave them...even when i'm hurting...

i don't know how to feel happy anymore..happy times are times when i'm with pangit...happy times are times when i dream about the future...happy times are times when i go to sleep and dream...happy times are when i see my mama smile...even after a day's hard work... happy times are when i see my youngest sister sing...

i don't know..i wanna be happy..HAPPY!!!!but i don't want to force it...i don't want to fake it anymore...i wanna feel sad when i'm sad...and now i feel sadness so much...that i come to realize that happiness has long been gone...

yes i know..i know..what you will say..what you will advise...thank you my friend...but i guess...i have to feel this sorrow..i have to face sadness in this time...but don't worry..i'll hang on...coz i know...everythung will come to pass in GOD's time...

Videoz

2006-01-21T19:10:00.000+08:00

hi guys...i've already added a new section for my blog...that's the video section...you can view videos here...and if u like one..feel free to go to youtube.com and grab that video ok??

ow by the way...id like to thank my dear friend bboi...for droppin' by..hehehe..thnx...

i'm not in the mood to tell u guys something about today...hehehe..or the other day..bcuz i'm really sad...and disappointed..to whom???secret...hehehe..

c ya guys!!!

positive...

2006-01-17T19:35:00.000+08:00

hehehe....positive??? well, i have been feeling positive for the past few days...hehehe..maybe because of "AKO LEGAL WIFE"..hahaha... actually i wasn't feeling well the other day because of my migraine..grr..i spent the whole day..sleeping..that's why my back ached...huhuhu..i wanted to go to the mall to just roam around..but then i had only a few coins left for monday...huhuhu...

then on sunday, pangit treated me for a movie..he wanted to watch KINGKONG..but i think it's just like other movies...action pack, drama..not that i wanted to watch the movie too..well i just thought that i needed a few laughs..do i decided to watch AKO LEGAL WIFE...and indeed it was fun to watch..it was not everyday that you get to see a Philippine flick that would be all worth it..i just hope they stop the MMFF issue... people have many problems to face and the MMFF issue is not one of them.. they should try to solve it..and help one another..because it's still for the Filipinos...dba????hehehe...

oh here is AKO LEGAL WIFE... my congratulations to ms. zsa zsa and ms. cherry pie..you deserve to win guys...superb talents...and real nice movie.. click on the image and u will reach the movie's official site..oki???

hmmm..monday..the start of my busy week..except for wednesday...hehehe...rehearsal here and production there... and today, tuesday..i had my production..and my interview for CAED...grr..i hate that teacher...rude me..but sorry for her..she's really a witch...it's for no teacher to act so knowing and snobby...and sarcastic...grrr...i'm not saying i'm right..but i think they should act as teachers if they want to be respected... thank GOD i have my pangit to the rescue..hehehe..

at production..waaaaaaaaah!!! i was so nervous...but then everything went out smoothly...it was not the best but it was not palpak...thank you LORD for granting me the success of my prod...i do hope i get a nice grade...hehehe...and that goes for my friends too..AJA MEDIA!!!

that's all for now...catch up with u next tym..mwah!!!

VOTE FOR SANDY @ HOMEBOY!!!

2006-01-17T19:32:00.000+08:00

vote her ok? that's for homeboy...

The Baronia Wedding Collection

2006-01-13T15:24:00.000+08:00

Visit this blog at friendster for the Baronia Wedding Collection. This was made by my very own friend Jerica..also known as jeany..and for me my sis jenay...hehehe...

Here's one of the samples, uh, this is suppose to be my wedding gown in the near future...

She's really great and I know she's gonna be famous someday..Check it out!

i don't want to miss a thing...

2006-01-13T15:03:00.000+08:00

this is from aerosmith... the OST of ARMAGEDDON..and our theme song..hehehe...revived by regine v.

angelic layer

2006-01-13T10:57:00.000+08:00

i watched this cartoon last thursday..and it was really fantastic...then i found this site, youtube.com..and i found an amv of this anime.. hope you enjoy this...

hanging on...

2006-01-12T18:38:00.000+08:00

hi..hello..it has been a while since i last posted..hmm..i've been very busy with work and school..and i've been trying to keep my resolutions for this year..that includes not being late, focusing on work when in work and focusing on school when in school...hehehe..and another one..LESS COKE...well u know what, i have only been late once this year..that's because my head was really aching last monday..and i have not beend rinking coke since the year started...yesh!!!MORE WATER for now...new year's resolutions are not really followed always, but it's good to have guidelines to start the year...and something to look forward to..right???

today, we started practicing english..i mean speaking in english...it wsa really funny at first..but then you'll realize that you're learning through the whole process, and it's really great...because speaking has a big difference from writing...it's so easy to write sometimes...and you can pause while thinking of the exact word to write...but with speaking you have to be spontaneous...and you must be able to pronounce the words right..and get the grammar right...well try it guys..especially those who really have a hard time speaking in english..start by reading aloud..it is a good exercise...ok???

hmmm..why is this entry titled "hanging on"? hehehe..i know you've been wondering...what am i hanging on to?and why am i hanging on? well i'm hanging on to life..and to GOD..and to my family...you know i've been depressed again..but i'm trying to feel good..and be strong...sometimes i feel people take me for granted..but still i can't help supporting those people..their my weakness...i always want to lend a hand to someone in need...huhuhu..can't somebody lend a hand to me?hehehe...thnx to my online friends..even their just online..i know they love me as much as my other friends love me...like the PARKERS...thnx so much my parkers...jenay, ate niz, mame, trini, pakner, te lheiski, scott, elaineski...hahay..all of u...thnx for all the help..the encouragement..you guys make me strong!!!hehehe...

hmmm...oh guys if u have time visit PEX...ok? and i'm trying to have a SUN sim, so I can have the unlimited calls...hahaha..just me and my pangit..but if you do have the sun sim..i can also call u sometime..hahaha...:)

maybe that's it for now...CIAO guys..mwah!!!

thoughts...

2006-01-07T07:33:00.000+08:00

good day everyone!!!i've added a new section for you guys...it's the THOUGHTS section..check it out..most of the thoughts would be taken from OUR DAILY JOURNEY 2006...it's my daily guide right now..and I want you guys to be a part of it too...feel free to leave comments..ok?

soon i'll be adding my REVIEWS section...for movies...don't you love it?hehehe...i hope you'll continue reading my posts...be blessed everyone!!!

back to work mode...

new me?hehehe...

2006-01-02T16:24:00.000+08:00

it's already 2006!!!hehehe...i don't know if i'd should be happy or be trembling coz time is running sooo fast...hehehe...joke!!ofcourse i'm so happy...becoz that means i'll be graduating soooon...and that..hehehe...secret...

well...pangit and i had an OK anniversary... he sent me a bear "i named it FOUR..hehehe.."..then i cooked dinner for him...well don't ask what i cooked..it was not as delicious as mama's but it is from the bottom of my toot..hehehe...heart...after that...we thank GOD that we're still together...and i'm really glad that we're still together...i know...we had difficulties...we had fights and all..but still at the end of the day..its' still US...

this is four...

on the 30th...the cuatro marias visited their lala..lala is so wawa' because she really missed us..we were with pangit n jig...then after going to lala's..pangit and i went to toot...hehehe...

at toot...well at jones beach resort...we spent the whole time together..and i mean together...hehehe...we enjoyed each single second with each other...then we saw jollibee company crew...hehe..we found our old friends...and talked..then when they started their party..it's back to to US...hehehe...and i loved each moment spent with him...:)...and everything is history...and SECRET!!!hehehe...

the next day...we swam at the pool..because the beach is not "likeable"..hahaha...i repeat not likeable....hahaha...so there we swam at the pool...giggling around..laughing...then....then..then...we went home...hahaha....sorry if i have to leave a few details out...hahaha....

it's for me to keep..and for u to...IMAGINE..hahaha..ooops...

well i after spending time with my pangit...i spent the rest of the afternoon...circling davao...hahaha..with my sis chelly...then when we got home..i realized i was dead tired..so i slept...hahaha..i woke up at 11:00pm...good thing i woke up..or i would be missing new year's eve...we watched CSI...and blew horns..shout...enjoy...felt 2006 coming!!!hahaha...check out our pics in PIX GALORE...

on the first day of january...i prepared lunch..then pangit came around 4..watched CSI (borrowed from Mahtet)...then started to prepare for the new year party at verdebarr...go check it out at torres st...hehehe it's my tita's....hehehe...

at the party...good food..really good food...when was ging chan's food not good?hahaha..then...magazines..we had a magazine marathon....with the rest of my family...hahaha...after that...it was boring...and i started feeling sleepy..so we decided to go home..

when we got home...i realized it's back to work again...huhuhu..i cried again...for the nth time...huhuhu..because my head was hurting...and i feel so tired..just thinking about..the coming days..

waaaaaaaaaaaah..but let GOD do the rest...hehehe...

i love life..i'll live life...and i'll survive!!!hahaha...

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!!!!

4 years....

2005-12-28T11:57:00.000+08:00

i'm confused...i'm lost..yesterday night...i told pangit about my feelings, about the emptiness i'm feeling since 2001..but it was not because of him...then i told him that he doesn't care...and i got mad at him because he doesn't know me that much..and that he always judges my family...i was hurt...he doesn't even wanna know my relationship with God..just because he's Catholic and I'm not...I hated him last night..I hated him so much..that I didn't make up with him..I don't want to..even if it means not having to celebrate our $th year anniversary...and even if it means not getting back together...i hate him for not making me feel special..for not understanding how i feel inside..i hate him for not accepting me as i am..and so is my family...

i love pangit...but if this is all i got in four years...no foundation...i'm willing to let go...even if it hurts that much...i've been through many kinds of pain...and i don't know if it would hurt that much still..when i let go of him...

i just want everything to be UPON HIM...i don't want my future family to be like his family and even like my family...i pray that my future family..will live upon GOD's love and GOD's rules...i am not being KJ..or being so HOLY...i just want to give HIM back all what is worth of HIM...

i know i am lost...i don't deal with drugs...i don't talk dirty..yet i am lost...empty...i just wanna find the real and old me..i wnat to be in His arms....and if i have to give up someone i love so much...just for Him..i would...coz i know..He knows everything...and i know he just wants the best for me...

for the past 4 years....i was living in a lie...pretending that everything's ok..when it's not...feeling ok...when i'm not...yes, my life is an open book...but my heart is a vessel chained....

a cold and rainy morning...

2005-12-27T07:13:00.000+08:00

i thought i woke up earlier today...but it was just the presence of the dark clouds that made it looked 3am...and for the nth time..i was late...i really hope i can't be late anymore..but i can't wake up early..and i can't get a ride in the span of 5 minutes...ugh!

yetserday night before goping to sleep...i texted the parker (smart users..thnx to the unlimited)....i told them m not feeling well..and that i have not been feeling well for the past 4 years...yes...4 years..m not sick or what...i just feel unwell..empty..and i know why...and maybe some of u know why...yes m happy...happiness is a choice..and i chose to be happy all these years..despite the hardships..the struggles..the pain...but happiness...is nothing compared to joy...having peace...having faith..that everything is okay...yes, a lot has changed...i have faith in the LORD..but...maybe...i lose sight of my own track..that i started doubting Him...well not really Him, but the world, myself...many things have really changed...i started hating others...disliking others..nagging others (especially my pangit)..and i feel so sad...knowing..that i can never bring back the old me..happy-go-lucky me..worry-free...assured and insured...just me...

i don't know..if i can get my new year's resolutions to work...but i do hope i can..i wanna be happy...uh, more than happy...i wanna be joyful..wanna be contented...wanna love the world back..eventhough it won't be loving me as much in return...wanna love the people around me...in spite of their flaws...wanna be me..

i know...many of u will not understand how i am..and what i am...many of u would think..i'm just bein' emotional...but many of u..do not see my heart...the heart that longs for love, hope, and faith...

i love JESUS..and i know i have failed Him a million times...i know i'm forgiven...but what good is forgiveness if i'm not worth it all..i just hope...i'm all worth it...i just hope..i can regain that place in His heart...i just hope...and i will continue hoping...till he says "Welcome back my child"...

meri krismas n a hapi nyu yer...!!!

2005-12-26T14:36:00.000+08:00

this pic was taken last dec.22 at our xmas party in the office...i'll share with u other pics tomorrow at the PIX GALORE section...

meri krismas!!!

www.sandara-park.com

2005-12-26T10:11:00.000+08:00

it's finally up.... visit the OFFICIAL SANDARA PARK WEBSITE...

sandy's ktext about it:

I hav a new website! Parang ang magiging oficial site ko! www.sandara-park.com created by parker arnie, parker elaine, parker jeany wid d help of d parkers' pres mei! Thank u so much! Marami ako cute na pics! Send ko sa inyo tom ha? Ito na kc 3rd ktext ko ngayon. Gusto ko 10ktxts a day hahaha. Shooting parin kami take care! :-)

i'm back from outerspace...

2005-12-26T08:49:00.000+08:00

bwahahaha...halu everyone!!!m back!!!after spending three days not online...now i'm back..hehehe..how's christmas???well, it was not the worst christmas..because i don't think there is such...but it was not the best either...uh, why?well i guess i had so many expectations..from my family..from pangit..that haven't really come to pass...christmas is not really about me..or the presents..it was about the family...JESUS..oh well, it was a nice night though..not perfect..but bein' with them on christmas is one thing i'll never barter anyone...

we had movie marathon, we watched NEW YORK MINUTE, UPTOWN GIRLS, and a christmas cartoon produced by ADAM SANDLER...then i slept..cried...oh well that's life...i think i'll be adding a review portion here...for my movie reviews...songs reviews...and others...:)ok???

uh...25...went to andre's baptismal...i was one of the ninangs...hahaha...weee!!first time....hehehe..i am now a certified TITA...hehehe...after baptismal...went back to pangit's....uh, it was so awkward..but still i manage to feel comfortable...

after eating...went home.and after that...watched BIG FISH...then slept (4pm-8pm)...then...that's all...

uh....the facts i left out are the facts..that hurt me...and i don't want to remember any of those things...

merry christmas everyone!!!

soooo cold...

2005-12-20T06:32:00.000+08:00

wak!it's sooo cold...you can really feel the holidays...hahaha...i really don't have something to write right now...well i do...but i have so many things to do...huhuhu..

so i guess i'll just have to say CIAO right now...till next time...

xmas shopping..

2005-12-19T07:43:00.000+08:00

its the holidays!!!everybody is out shopping and buying gifts for their loved ones...:)i hope there's someone out there buying for me too...hehehe...anyways...i made my xmas shopping early..because i don't want to rush with everyone else...:)

during the weekends, i slept..well...i can't really remember wat i've been doing..hahaha...all i can remember was that i spent most of my time with my pangit...hehehe..and know what?he gave me his anniversary present already..too advance...hehehe...11 days advance to be exact...he gave me a bracelet and earrings set...wak!!!i'm so touched...:)not because he gave me an expensive gift...but it's one of the few times he surprised me..:)

late saturday night i watched the ABS-CBN Xmas Special...Hmpf!I hated it..i slept late just to catch a glimpse of sandy..but i hardly seen her...eventhough i hardly blinked...hmpf!Sometimes i think their being bias..and sometimes i doubt them..they couldn't blame me or us???they have been unfair to most of their talents...i just hope they would be giving sandy more exposures this 2006..and projects too..or else!!!i really mean it...

OHB mode?hehehe...nope i'm fine...i'm absolutely fine...hehehe...i miz TJ..thnk GOD il be seeing him again later...hehehe....here's another pic of him....:)

only you..

2005-12-17T08:29:00.000+08:00

huhuhu...am i inlove?hahaha...ofcourse i'm inlove..but u know what i'm infatuated with this korean actor in the series 'ONLY YOU"...wak!the theme song is so nice..and the actor is so so so so POGI!...Jo Hyeon-jae /Cho Hyeon-jae....wak!!!can somebody send me his pics???or a site i can go to???huhuhu....why on earth is he in Korea and i'm here?hehe...ooops...behave...hehehe...

by the way...i was not able to blog yesterday because i was absent...i'm not feeling well..yesterday...i hosted our quiz shoe..and i think it turned out well..hmmm...then i went to the mall..to buy some additional gifts..and because i was wearing heels..i went home with a painful feet...huhuhu...

well...now i'm feeling just fine...pangit and i had a misunderstanding last last night...so he didn't show up last night...hmpf!hehehe...but i'm ok..i don't miss him that much bcoz of Hyeon-jae..also known as TJ...hahaha..JOKE!!!hmmm...

happy mode...

2005-12-15T06:35:00.000+08:00

hahaha...alas i finally added my Pix Galore page...hehehe..

well today is a fine day..eventhough i found it hard to wake up sooooo early for the nth time...i hate waking up this early...because i'm a night person...but this is a good day..know why???well, i dunno...i just feel it's a good day..maybe because it's payday...hahaha!nah!i just hope i have enough energy til afternoon...

btw i watched rockstar inxs last night, the episode when there were still 6 of them...i find it hard to believe that JD became the grand winner of the show...he's so...duh!nevermind..maybe i was just judging him..but anyway i think mig ayesa (did i spell it right?) really rocks!!!haha!am i being bias?well, he's one of the few half Filipinos that i'm proud of...and he really rocks!!!i mean it!!!!

so got to go now..CIAO!got to work...and enjoy this happy day!!!:)

PBB REVEALED...

2005-12-14T06:42:00.000+08:00

maayong adlaw sa tanan!magandang araw sa lahat!good day everyone!hehehe...i'm in a good mood today coz pangit went to the house last night..hehehe..i'm really happy when i'm with him..though i admit it was not a perfect relationship..but i'm happy it's not..coz if it was perfect...hehehe..i doubt we will last 4 years..hehehe...

oh well, i'm really sleepy..i wanna go to sleep...but i don't have any choice..do i?i didn't attend my caed 500 class yesterday for the nth time...coz i was really tired, i even fell asleep on the way home...huhuhu..when i got home...i ate cake and chicharon..hahaha..then i slept..i woke up at around 9pm..just in time for "Only You"..hehehe...TJ (i don't know his real name)..is really angelic..hay...hehehe...

then i waited for PBB Revealed...hay I don't understand why some Filipinos are so narrow-minded like Mr. Morato...I'm sorry to say this Chairman..but I don't think you see what's going on around you...I'd like the idea of putting some cameras in your house and let you watch your everyday rituals...come on, PBB is a REALITY SHOW...it's not suppose to follow standards, traditions or anything...what ever happened to the word REALITY if you're going to manipulate their actions???well, it's a good thing that the minds behind PBB, reformatted it for some of you, who are blinded by what you think is REAL...it's 2005...hahay!well, i'm not saying that i'm doing what they have been doing..coz honestly speaking..i don't even have a night life...but hey it's what going on around..and if you don't let the people see the REAL thing..they'll become IGNORANT and thus not becoming AWARE..that means they are most likely to be facing DANGER when they DON"T KNOW anything...its' not about being immoral or conservative..it's having to see the TRUTH..so that our SOCIETY would be aware...so that teenagers would somehow know the difference between right and wrong...and you say children are watching the show..yes, i know they are watching the show..because my six- year old sister is a fan of PBB...but then, parents have the right to forbid them..and hello 10pm is a time where children are suppose to be sleeping...ok fine, it's still PRIMETIME...well, then let ABS-CBN air GOOD things on PRIMETIME...and the BAD THINGS on cable or in Studio 23...but wouldn't it be too hypocrite?why am i telling you this???because i want the PEOPLE to know...i want the parents to be aware that they're children maybe engaging on acts like these..i want the people to UNDERSTAND...not deviate from their morals...but LEARN and UNDERSTAND...and even have an idea of what would happen to them if they are being locked in a house for more than 100 days...well, i guess some may not agree with me...but i think this is the REAL thing...we must not turn our backs and say it's not how Filipinos should act..but face it and say, "Oh my goodness, is this how we are now? Let's do something about it."diba?

i believe that the youth of today are very broadminded..and intelligent...viewers identify the REAL between what is NOT...TV shows don't have to dictate what we have to do...so please..let REALITY shows be REAL!:)

everything's gonna be fine..

2005-12-13T14:15:00.000+08:00

life will always have its ups and downs..there are times that life is full of laughter and often times..it is full of tears...but nonetheless, life is a blessing, a purpose...we may not realize our purposes this time, but there will come a time that we'll find our purpose...remember that life is not about being happy and being sad..or being up or down..life is all about LOVE, GOD, YOU and the PEOPLE around you...

ever wonder why LIFE is called LIFE?ponder for a moment and look around..you may see the answer right infront of your monitor...

CIAO friends..time to go to school...another day..to my dear friend trini, don't worry..GOD has HIS own reasons..TRUST Him..Ok???Mwah!

too sexy superior is finally UP!

2005-12-13T13:15:00.000+08:00

hahaha...finally i have my own template...want to have one of this???or want me to make u one???just leave a message and i'll try to make u a template..ur very own..hehehe...

i'll be trying to make some more template that you can use...for now it's gonna be really free...but maybe if i do good on it..i will be asking for a little something from u...would that be fair?

hehehe...wak!!!so read on guys...and surf...maybe you'll stumble on something you can grab...hehehe..

wak!!!

2005-12-13T10:33:00.000+08:00

wanna cry..wanna get mad!!!huhuhu...i wanna hate them..wak!well..we got a ZERO for a talk show..because it was not recorded...waaah!!!so now we'll have to prfect our quiz show...but how can we perfect it...when they are not present for the rehearsal..when some are late...why can't people value time..and value others...it's as if..they own time..

waaaaaah!i don't wanna get mad..i don't wanna say things that would hurt them or me..but i hope they do act professional..well, i just hope they mind taking up the subject again..and not take the higher subjects next sem..grrr...

hmmm...

2005-12-13T06:50:00.000+08:00

good day everyone!it's another day...wak...hmmm...yesterday after attending the meeting of my lil sis...we went straight home...and i slept...i woke up at around 7 pm...then i went to bed at 11:30..but slept at 12am..huhuhu..i miz my pangit...well i wanna share some of our pics..uhm..but i'll still edit them..so i guess you'll have to wait for that...hehehe...

well i've decided that i will go for the pink and black template...because the sepia may look sooo boring..and i don't want you to be bored..so i'll make a wild temp just for you..hehehe..:)

ok..got to go now.time to work...i'll just drop by again later...:)

new day...

2005-12-12T07:53:00.000+08:00

hehehe...the past week has been a total disaster...well, for some of u...not...but for me..it was..because it was like i was finding myself...:(well...i'm quite better now...last friday...pangit and i had an argument...well sort of..i cried...and then at production...i forgot to record our production..good thing that the lab incharge let us reproduce our talk show..thank GOD..it has been a stressful friday...but afterwards..i went to jobee...then ma and i...got the chance to grab a snack at merco..it was unusual, because we didn't really talk..there were awkward moments..but then everything went smooth...

pangit never texted later that day until saturday..he called..asked how i am..listened to my voice..it was quite obvious that he missed me...hehehe..well..i went home around 4 pm..hmmm..went to sleep...and woke up at 8pm..i was pretty excited for the PBB big night..well who was not..though i had a premonition that nene wqs going to be the big winner...i was still hoping that cass would have that chance..coz i know she also deserves it..well they all deserve it..but only one gets to bring home the bacon..and so the kumander made it...hehehe...and as usual..sandy was so beautiful..she looked younger with her frock..hahaha...frock!!!well her frock rocks!!!hehehe..

earlier...i was busy finding a template for my blog...and now i have this naughty pinkish template.hehehe...it's quite wild for me...but i have to settle for this now..unless i find another one later...actually i'll be making my own template..i'm actually looking forward to making my own site...but not for now..maybe on vacation...well i hope so..like i said..i'm always excited to make things..but actually not finish them...

on sunday..i spent my whole afternoon...watching TV, reading GOF, eating cake (it was my sis bday last saturday), lying down and exchanging text with my pangit..bwahaha..yesh...we resolved our issue on text..wak!!!ABS-CBN was overwhelmed with the PBB...from ASAP to the BUZZ...

then pangit came at around 8 pm..we actually didn't talked about what's happening...we just want to spend each moment happily...hahaha...then...we watched GRINCH..nice movie...for kids..Jim Carey has never failed to give his superb acting skills...oh well, I slept at 1am...

and now i woke up at 5:30...waaaaaaah!I wanna rez..i'm suppose to go home afte work today..because I really wanna rez..but I guess it's not yet time to rest..hahaha..I'l be fetching daryll today..and attend her meeting..

waaaah!....and i wanna sleep early but today is "Only You!"..waaaah!!!why am I so TV fanatic???

oh well...this is quite long now..ciao!

Me and my Pangit...

2005-12-09T11:57:00.000+08:00

hehehe..this is just one of the nonsense posts you'd see here..well actually nonsense for u but all sense for me..hehehe...above is one of the wallpapers i made..and that features me and my pangit...we'll be celebrating our 4th year anni this dec28..and i'm really excited and happy..i thank GOD that through all these pains and struggle..I have my Pangit to hug and hold..and to share each moment with...well not really each moment..specially now that he's really busy..me too..three and four..hehehe..

Another HB Day...

2005-12-09T11:32:00.000+08:00

Oh life...i dunno what's happening with me...i'm hopeless...waaaaaah!well, okay last night I was fine because I had dinner at pangit's haus..but then when I got home..everything was not right..I was not talking with my ma..and vice versa..well i don't want to engage in a conversation with any of the family member..because it would totally be useless..i slept at around 10pm..when i woke up today, pas asked why my ma and i weren't talking...hmmm..they are not "manhid" after all...wel now i'm the one who's acting numb...because i'm really sick and tired of being the "GOOD" one..can't i be mean???well...i'm not that mean when i'm mean...

now when i came 2 office this day..i had a "sort of an argument" with my offcm8..well, nvermind...eventhough I was getting cold and I wanted to shout out loud...but I remained cool..it's hard to keep your patience u know..waaaaaah!!!

and now..i'm ready to face another cause of OHB...and that is production...I do hope that we'll get perfect today...or else we'll have zero...i hate my co-members because they are so irresponsible..waaaaaah!!!they were late yesterday..and i bet they'll be late till the term ends...ugh...

Oh God please help me....

Alas! A New Beginning!

2005-12-07T19:24:00.000+08:00

Thank God! I have a new blog.... but I don't know how long I can keep this... I had a few blogs back then but all I updated was the Parkers Blog hehehe! Well anyways, how should I start? Why am I making this blog?Uh, because I'm not fine. And I wanna pour out my feelings....I'm really depressed...I just hope I could cry, shout, take a rest, be free! Oh well, this is life...